Well I'm back alive lol, I think that I got thing's back together now. nothing beats a little time alone by the old camp fire to think things out, I rode back and loaded up the horses and drove straght to my counseling place and had a good talk with him, funny I parked the truck and trailer right under the covered unloading zone in frount and told them I needed to see him now.
Once inside we had a good talk and he then called my doctor for me and told him about all that was going on and sent me straght over there and we talked a bit and he gave me something stronger than the valium and lexapro for my depression and told me that the reason that my Dad my not have told me about his health decline from the diabetes so not to stress me out more then I'm em now and my Mother is doing fine now. Do you know how hard it is to find a parking spot at a Doctors office with a horse trailler in tow lol I think I may have pissed off a few ppl with my parking job there too. But at lease they put me straght into the Doctor when I got there and that they are all going to back me up 100% with my hearing.
Thank y'all for being there for me at my time of need it's kind of like having a 2nd family here that one can talk too that know about the daily stress we can go though in are lives.