I am very sorry that you are having a hard time. I do you hope that you feel better soon. I can actually tell you that I understand what your going through with not being able to find a doc. I have tried to go to several myself, and for what ever reason they didn't work out. My experience has been they never took me or my symptoms seriously. I have not given up, I know people who have found docs that are really making differences in their lives. I know that I will eventually find one, and so will you. I also understand that everyone that gives advice may say the same thing, "take one day at a time". They are absolutely right! That is all you can do. To help me get through my low I think of the people or person who needs me, and I get my act together for their sake. Because I know that how I react to my circumstances effects them too. I know that I know nothing about you, but I do know that you are blessed with people in your life. The same people who you are trying to have Christmas for. They love you, and will understand if you slowed down a bit. I know that when you are depressed it is the hardest thing in the world to get out of bed in the morning and get things done, but if you remind yourself of why your doing them, it may help.
Please be strong, you will get through this. Chin up Charlie.