2nd visit to therapist

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 12/12/2006 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, today was my second visit and i am not going back. i went in and the first thing he told me was how i did my "homework" assignment wrong and that there were too many emotions involved he wanted only thoughts...........well my thoughts are my feelings. then he told me i had very low self esteem and that who cares what other people are saying about me. well when i am having a panic/anxiety attack that is a big thing for me ....i think everyone is looking at me and talking about me and i can't just stop it like stopping a car. then he says i am too much of a perfectionist .......... Jesus was perfect but even he didn't please everyone so i neeed to just tell myself to get over that when i start thinking that way.  by the time i left his office i felt STUPID and like there was not hope for me at all because he didn't listen all he done was talk and tell me how wrong i was doing everything.      He even took 2 phone calls during our session while i was  TRYING to say something .........he said oh you will have to hold on i have to take this call like i didn't matter.          so that is why i am not going back
God bless you all

Beth Anne
Regular Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 12/12/2006 9:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey there,

I want you to know that I have not found a doc yet because the half of dozen I tried, all have treated me the same way. I felt worse leaving there office than I did when I walked in. BUT, I will not give up, and you should not either. Why, I will tell you. Because unfortunately, the only way that people like us are ever going to get better is if we see or talk to a professional who can teach us correct strategies to deal with this stuff. We can not do this on our own. I have tried for years to handle this myself, I am worse than ever. After I had the most horrible experiences in doc officess, I was going to handle it my self with lots of exercise and self talk and vitamins. This approach helped sometimes, but I can't tell you how many times I hit bottom hard. I know I can't do this on my own, that's why I on HW.

I know you had a really bad experience, and I am sooo sorry to hear it. But please don't give up, no matter how many bad doc you see, because some day you and I will find a really good doc that's going help us.

Have faith hun,


Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 12/12/2006 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Beth Anne,

Thanks so much for your response. one of my problems is when i go to a new doc. i have to pay the full amount up front the first time and that is hard to do when it is only my husband working because i can' t right now. so to find another doc. is like just not possible at this point. i want to go to a doc. but i want it to be one that helps me not makes me feel worse i just can't afford to do that right now.

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 279
   Posted 12/12/2006 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I am so sorry you had this experience with the doctor. I remember the first time I went to a doctor after experiencing A/P- he told me that I'd have this the rest of my life and would be on meds the rest of my life, so I should just get used to it. Maybe he was right about it not going away, but he made no effort to help me help myself. I walked out of his office in complete tears! Fortunately I was able to find someone that was much more caring (actually I found a doctor that mainly helped me with my meds and a social worker that is so caring that she gives her clients hugs at the end of the session). There are good docs out there and you will find one!! Could you possibly get a recommendation from your primary doc? Good luck!!!

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 275
   Posted 12/12/2006 10:26 PM (GMT -6)   
So sorry that doc did not work out for you. I lucked out and had a great psycologist - he really made a difference. It took a few sessions for me to warm up to him, but not because he acted like yours did (a real jerk!).

Dont take this the wrong way, but he did make at least one good point (regarding Jesus) - his approach and technique leave alot to be desired tho! I too have a perfectionist personality. Therapy opened my eyes quite a bit, and meds a couple years later opened them the rest of the way! Together they made me realize just how self-destructive those thoughts are. But you CAN change over time - I did. Not to say I dont have my tendencies, but I am no where near as extreme.... I also remember my doc "teaching" me to separate emotions from thoughts, I cant remember why (it was about 11 years ago), but I do know that it was an important part of CBT.

Anyway, like the others have said, dont give up (on therapists in general) - therapy does wonders (guess its just like finding the right med - trial and error!).

Good luck!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 12/13/2006 9:36 AM (GMT -6)   

its common for anxiety sufferers to think they are being watched and judged badly this has nothing to do with paranoia

get some darlk somglasses and look back at their eyer and you will of course see that no one at all is watching, other than small children

carry a small make up mittor if you think your face looks strange, another common fear

taking 2 phonecalls during the first meeting is gross discurtisy, also I bet he didnt add to your time to compensate

it helps to secretly tape record these meetings as its often hard to remember what you told him and the advice if any, he gave

also consider learning what you need to know from several agoraphobia and panic disorder self help books, much cheaper and he probably read them too yeah

recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 2500
   Posted 12/13/2006 10:22 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree that this doc is off his rocker. I would suggest asking around for a reccomendation prolly from primary physician. If you had an old psych but had to leave work with them for reasons like change of insurance you might want to ask them for a reccomendation. I think it is a real shame that some psychs just dont get it and have no compassion.
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 1268
   Posted 12/13/2006 11:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Im sorry you had such a hard time with your therapist, he does sound like he needs a diff job ;) bless your heart. This place is my therapy, but i sure hope you can find a new and much better doctor to help you. There has to be some good ones out there......I know there are, its jus hard to find them at times. Please keep posting..and take care.
" Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now, in this instant of time. From this moment onward you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed."
Eileen Caddy

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 12/13/2006 3:02 PM (GMT -6)   
One of you ask if he made any good points about Jesus - no he did not . He only said that he was perfect and still even he didn't make everyone happy. then is was like you feel like everyone is watching you - so what if they are that doesn't matter. he said i couldn't tolerate people talking about me well the thing is i have had people talk about me my whole life over some bad choices that i made when i was younger and i have learned to just get over that. people will talk just because they have nothing better to do, but it was just the way he said it - so what if they are with this smirk on his face. it was like my problems are so petty he just don't have time to deal with that small of a thing. well to me it is serious or i wouldn't be sittng in his office looking for help

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 902
   Posted 12/13/2006 9:17 PM (GMT -6)   
He's a DUD! How bout calling some psychologists ahead of time and ask to speak with each of them briefly. Tell them that you are looking to find a new therapist and have had some bad experiences and you would like to find out if an appointment with them would be worth making. Ask them what kind of therapy they do? What is their "style?" Communicate upfront what you need from them. YOU are the paying customer. I have done this before and you know how you just "click" with someone - even over the phone. Oh, and, please don't give up. If you went to a crummy Chinese restaurant, you wouldn't stop going to Chinese restaurants, right? you would just find another Chinese restaurant. :)
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 91
   Posted 12/13/2006 11:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, right now this is my train of thought and who knows it may change by morning but we will see. As of right now i have every intention of going to one more session with this guy because the thought of not makes me feel like i am just giving up and i am not a quitter. So i am going to muster up all the assertiveness i possibly can and i am going back. He is going to here me out and what i have to say because i am paying for this and it is his job to listen , not just cut me off and do his own thing. So he wants assertive he is going to get assertive. i am not the type to just lay down and quit. i will let 20 people pull my in 20 directions until i snap before i just quit. i am not going to be mean but i want him to know that i am not a rug or a door mat and i am not going to be walked all over when i am paying him.

God bless you all

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/14/2006 6:04 AM (GMT -6)   
You go hun
Assertive he wants
Assertive he will get lol
Proud of you
Let us know how it goes kk
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