Hi Smorzik, thank you for taking the time to respond to me. Their is a lot of truth and wisdom in your words. You are an "overcomer" a "survivor" and now you are willing to share your journey with others. I commend you for that.
I am happy to tell you that I decided that I will not even mutter the words or think the thoughts of ending my life. I know that I have to go on and I am looking to God to find out what His plan for me is. Perhaps, part of my grief and deep depression is that the things that I wanted...marriage, children, "real love," financial security, self-esteem, to be appreciated for my contribution to this world, to feel "peace" in my heart and in my soul, I have not found. Events took place and I became depressed, I had a breakdown. I grieved the dissillusionment of all of these things and I lost hope for my future. On top of that, everything that could go wrong kept going wrong. I became exhausted, depressed and extremely anxious (fearful). I am tired of being sick (my body) and tired (my mind) and empty (my soul).
You are absolutely right. It is not going to be easy but I have to create a whole new existence for myself and new hopes and dreams to go with it. I know that I want to so I will.
Thank you for your advice. I need to get out for that long walk no matter how bad I feel and I need to nourish my body. Those are 2 things that I CAN do. Also, trusting God no matter what.
God bless you,
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."
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