I thought I was doing so well and now I'm unsure.....

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 1/3/2007 10:12 PM (GMT -6)   
It feels like I've done a complete turn around. I am irritable, grouchy and hating everyone and everything. I'm also extremely tired. I haven't had more than 5-6 hours of sleep for the past week or so. Once I'm awake, I'm up. My anxiety is elevated and my bipolar feels out of control. I can't seem to get my footing. I'm weaning off my geodon for bipolar and off my cymbalta completely. Now I'm only on prozac and imiprimine. Maybe I can attribute all this to that. I don't know. All I know is that I'm very tired of trying. I'm tired of worrying about everything, bills, my health, school, family, my husband. I'm tired of not having access to my own meds. I want to just scream obsenities at everything. I know that won't help, but it might make me feel better. My husband has been reading my journal to keep track of my moods so he can help me, at least that was his excuse. I feel violated and he doesn't get that. I don't know how to explain it to him.
BTW, I had an extemely bad dream last night. I woke up and felt a very evil presence there with me. I don't remember the dream at all, just the feeling of panic and chills running down my spine. I don't know where that came from or what it was. 
Thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate you all.

Take Care,
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, bi-polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, prozac, geodon, lamictal, inderal la, klonopin, seroquel, imiprimine, aspirin, (relpax, maxalt, phenergan, esgic plus, xanax, PRN for migraine)
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006

Post Edited (seechell) : 1/3/2007 8:17:37 PM (GMT-7)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 1/3/2007 10:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Chelle!
So sorry you have to deal with all of this...it seems that we're all fighting something here lately. It is probably not helping that your meds are being adjusted. try to hang tough. That's what I do as I don't have much choice either...
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 1/4/2007 12:34 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi seechell
Sleep deprivation can turn us all grouchy - there aint no doubt about that lol!
Before you were weaning off the meds were you doing ok?
Do you think maybe weaning off these meds just now could be a mistake - maybe you're not ready yet, or maybe weaning off slower could be better..I really don't know the answers but somehow you have got to take control - and it's good that you recognise that things are getting out of hand..and me thinks going to see your health prof. could be a good start :)
I can understand that you are not pleased that your husband has read your journal..but I can understand his reasoning too - he obviously loves you to pieces and is concerned about you - relax I am sure he means no harm.
Take good care.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/4/2007 10:05 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree it could be the meds .........or lack of them the coming off
We all have those times to hun and I know I have had my share for sure lately
I am sorry about all you are going thru
Just know we are always here for you
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