How are you feeling?
To answer your question...I have been to 3 chiropractors and none have made a significant improvement in my condition. In fact, one of them was so fast and furious, I think he did more harm than good. That's not to say I won't try again. At this time, I do not have the money to go to a chiropractor. I'm down to the nitty gritty and no employment. It's scary to be in this kind of financial straights but I think you must know how I feel.
What is causing my pain? I just answered this on "What do you do when you don't know what to do?" Another member asked the same question.
Part of my grief and deep depression is that the things that I wanted...marriage, children, "real love," financial security, self-esteem, to be appreciated for my contribution to this world, to feel "peace" in my heart and in my soul, I have not found. Events took place (divorce, unemployment, disability) and I became depressed, I had a breakdown. I grieved the dissillusionment of all of these things and I lost hope for my future. On top of that, everything that could go wrong kept going wrong. I became exhausted, depressed and extremely anxious (fearful). I am tired of being sick (my body) and tired (my mind) and empty (my soul) and like you said "stressed to the max." I am a person who likes security. Before I moved in with my husband I lived 9 years in the same little apartment. I had my cat (now 15) and recently adopted doggie and although it is expensive to live alone (without roommies) in Southern California, I was a people pleaser and I'm also an introver (INFJ) so I needed a sanctuary to come home to. I burned out my adrenal system with all the drama and trying to save the walking wounded. Men saw this vulnerability in me and exploited it by guilting me to put their nees ahead of my own. I look back and I think, man, if I put as much energy into my career or education or volunteering, I would be so much richer (internally) and instead I have nothing to show for all of my efforts, genuine love and compassion and going the extra mile. Their is a saying "don't cast pearls to swine." I know I sound bitter. Truly, I'm not. It's just I do get mad at MYSELF for allowing this all of those years.
Okay, although I am not certain that my body is going to be able to work a full-time office job, I had 3 interviews with a company for a newly created position assisting the top-dog in California. These interviews took place before the holidays. I received a call last Thursday from them letting me know that management really liked me but to be patient b/c they needed to submit the requisition to corporate, etc. I felt encouraged by this but they also indicated that they would need to interview other candidates. So, I was worried about
the timeline of their decision b/c I have to move out by the 26th of this month and my Mom lives in another County so I would be commuting 2 hours each way. I got a call today and they emailed me three more assessments (personality, sales ability, and writing ability) to be completed before my next interview on Friday. Sooooo, if they like what they see, I could get an OFFER on Friday (oh, please, oh please) then I could get some resolution on one thing and perhaps that would have a domino effect on the rest (I'm hoping).
Rock, you have given me such good advice and I too want to be that little guy with the lollypop and the big smile. God asks us to be content in all things and I strive to be a woman after God's own heart.
Everyone's pearls of wisdom are welcome. I'm now bound and determined to be happy, darn it! :)
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen."