So to a degree, I continue to have these anxy feelings in my stomach, which I absolutely hate!!! Thankfully, I do get a break from it somewhat, most days. I keep thinking that if I keep on facing my feelings and not "running and trying to hide from it" that it should keep getting better. Anyone have any ideas about
that? Anyhow, what really bugged me extra-much today was that Mom and I went to a seafood restaurant and had a seafood platter each (very expensive!). The restaurant is in my favorite part of town, not but a short walk to the marina. I LOVE the marina and the bay! But could I really ENJOY all of this? NO!!!
The whole time we're in the restaurant, I'm a bit anxy. I'm thinking of how glad I'll be when we leave...now I was talking to myself in my mind with statements like "it's your feelings doing this and not the place you're in"..."just be calm"..."you've dealt with a lot of things and you can deal with this too", etc., etc., etc.,.......I don't think my MOm could tell that I was a bit anxy so that's good cuz I didn't wanna ruin it for her. So when's it gonna end? When do I get to enjoy the simple things in life again? I'm not asking for riches or such, I just want to be able to have some ease from the stupid fear, you know?!?
I know so many of you can relate to what I'm saying here and although I feel bad for myself, I DO TRULY feel bad for YOU too!! I just needed to vent I guess...