Hi KcBeauty and welcome to HW, you are in a good place. I am sorry to hear you are in such a bad situation. You probably don't want to hear this, but you asked for advice so I must say it: You really need to leave this guy. I know it seems like the end of the world, and that he feels like your only lifeline right now but any person who would say he hates being around you because you are "negative and depressing" does not have your best interests at heart. He probably enjoys having power over you because you feel so vulnerable right now.
Here's the thing though "feeling" vulnerable and "being" vulnerable are too very different things. It sounds to me like you are a smart, compassionate and lovely person. Congratulations on finishing college!! That's awesome!! You should be excited and looking forward to a great future, not feeling depressed (I'm not blaming you here, please don't get me wrong!!). I suggest that you seek some advice from your doctor and maybe get some counselling. There may be a physical reason why you feel so bad. I also know that there are support groups called CODA (co-dependents anonymous) who can really help and support you through this
That said, I know it will be very hard to do this. I know, I stayed in a marriage for three years with a guy who called me a "fat unworthy pig". Nice! I felt that if I left him no-one else would ever love me. I'm now in a great relationship with a man who calls me beautiful and would never cheat (well he'd better not!!). I guess my point is, that although it looks bleak now, and will hurt you, things will be better in the long run. The fact that this guy say's he doesn't love you the same way could be contributing to your depression. I wish you all the best, please keep us posted on how you go, and please find a way to reach out to someone else because you are worth it.
Big supportive hugs my friend.
Dance like no-one's watching,
Love Thy Neighbour, just don't get caught!