Well I do know one thing... I have panic disorder. My GP once said I might be showing some bipolar tendencies, but my psychiatrist and nurse told me I had nothing to worry about in that field. After reading some of the posts here tonight, I began to panic. A year ago I almost left my relationship of 5 years to be with someone else. I did not exactly seek this out, but I did get involved in it over the internet. My b/f and I were pretty much living in the same house, but not in the same world. We weren't doing too well in our relationship and I felt lonely, vulnerable and sad because of it for quite some time. Anyhow, I had this online relationship going for about a month on/off and it was really hurting the people around me, sometimes I was so consumed by this new person in my life that I was almost apathetic to those around me. Other times, when away from the computer, I cared for them deeply. For months after this incident I worried maybe I was being bipolar (manic) although I was more distraught than happy during that time. I realize that I have been absolutely obsessive about going crazy or having a mental disorder such as bipolar for over a year now... This obsession has caused me much grief, panic, and sleepless nights. My b/f says that although I was acting quite out of character that month, I did not seem to portray bipolar behavior at all. Now here is why I am worried..... I began treatment for hep c about a week ago and I have been under SO much stress. I haven't been getting out of the house-or from my couch at ALL really. I have been stuck in my head, anxiety and panic-ridden for the majority of my days now. Anyhow, my b/f and I have been fighting almost every night for the past 5 nights now (and last year’s incident happened around the same time). The thing is, I sometimes blame him for my situation with the OCD and panic disorder (because ever since we've been together, it has been changing me to no end). I love him entirely, but I just get so upset with him sometimes, and I have spoken of leaving almost every night for the past 5 nights during these fights as well, he has mentioned me moving out as well. Now, what I am trying to figure out is: Am I just over stressed, depressed and convincing myself I am going crazy? Am I making myself so helpless to the point that I threaten leaving because he says he just doesn't care at all anymore? Or could this be bipolar behavior? He doesn't even care enough to take me to the hospital tonight, as he says I am just being obsessive. Okay, perhaps there is truth to that but I am bawling my eyes from sheer terror here. I need to understand if this is normal human behavior to want to leave your spouse when they are being distant, insensitive and hostile- or is it me possibly being bipolar? I guess the real question is: Is he being like this because of me being bipolar or because I have made myself feel crazy by this point? I don't know. I'm so scared. If I found out I was ok, I would probably consider leaving because he has been SO unkind and SO mean for quite some time now. If I found out I was bipolar, well, I guess we could talk- I could apologize, and hopefully he would be more sincere when I need him. Ok---now onto another question. How on earth do I ever know for sure if I am being misdiagnosed or not about being bipolar (if that were the case)? And does medication help a LOT, or will this disorder ruin my life (if I was told I suffered from it)?? Thank you so much. So sorry for the long post (I don't know, maybe even that makes me manic) but I just needed to vent and ask some questions for once and for all. Thank you very kindly. I also want to add that by no means do I feel God-like, happy, or have lots of energy atm. If anything I am the COMPLETE opposite. Well, I do feel 'high' in my head- but I think that is very much stress induced. Thanks again.