Welcome to HW
Please see a doc or Pdoc as soon as you can arrange it you need to have some therapy and then drugs/meds might have to come into play depending on what comes out in therapy
I wish you all the best yes we are here to support you hun but I honestly believe as do others you need professional help
We will all still be here fo you okay no matter what
Support is a great thing to have and hun you have it with all of us
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