I've wanted to thank all of you who replied to this all week, but since I made myself so crazy last week I've been paying for it this week. I'm so exhausted I can barely get things done around the house and just want to sleep all day. I know it's a temporary thing though, just really worked my nerves over again and now need time to heal. Anyway, quick update...My daughter is doing fine, completely over the episode from two weeks ago. She went back to school with slight nervousness, but handled it all just beautifully, and is now right back to her normal routine. I am making her breakfast every day, and she says she feels great...huge sigh of relief!!
I'm doing better, like I said, paying for what I did to myself last week. But, some positives did come out of this, kind of some big positives. As I was going through hell last week, it suddenly dawned on me that my daughter does not have panic disorder, and her fear is of normal intensity, unlike mine. I realized that I'd been picturing her at school reacting with the same fear I have, which is not realistic. That her fear is manageable, it doesn't turn to panic. I tried to think back to high school and remember what I felt like on days that I had to give a speech, which scared me and although I had feelings of fear, I still went to school, still went about my day and gave that speech...so I've been retraining myself to see things in a realistic light when it comes to my daughter and her fears...she just doesn't react the way I would...make sense?
The other thing I realized is that I have spent alot of my life and way to much energy, feeling like I need to control things that are completely out of my control...like her having another hypoglycemic attack. So, I make myself crazy trying to make sure it doesn't happen, to make sure she's okay, to try and fix her every problem and then worry constantly over it...like that will help, when all I can realistically do is make her breakfast and remind her to eat during the day and be there to support her. I have to step back and allow her to deal with her bumps and bruises herself, with support of course, so she will grow and mature and become self-reliant. I honestly had a huge weight lifted off of me when I decided to release my need to try and control things. Now, I'm not saying that I won't slip back into my old habits and have to keep working at this, but this entire week has been so different for me. It is amazing what a change in thinking can do. No wonder I'm so darn tired...way to much thinking going on here!!!
So, thank you all for the comforting replies, you really did help me!