my own personal hell

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 3/27/2007 6:52 PM (GMT -6)   
[[a little history]]
Okay, so I've suffered from panic attacks since I was about 7 yrs. old. But I never new what it was until around this year. I always wanted to know what it was and why I would feel soo sick and scared to death and be fine only 20 minutes later. I was so terrified of feeling like that again, that I wouldn't go anywhere but school, my mom's house and my dad's house. In 7th grade it was at it's worst. I left school early & skipped school multiple times. The nurse knew me well & seemed irritated every time I showed up. I guess she thought I was one of those punk kids who just hated school and wanted to leave.
Then in summer of '05 I found someone who amazed me so much that he made my panic attacks subside (except when I felt sick [I have a phobia of vomitting]). He did so many insane things that made me think to myself, "if he can do that, I can definately get through a panic attack". So whenever I felt an attack comming on, I would think of him and it helped me calm down and it eventually it went away. Thinking of this person made my attacks subside up until this week.
Two nights ago, I felt a little sick & a panic attack came on. I figured it would go away in a few minutes, so I tried to wait it out. But it lasted a lot longer than I expected. A few minutes later, another one came on. Then another, then another. It made me too terrified to go to sleep, so I stayed up...until 2:30am. It was horrible. I thought I was better when I left for school, but the second I stepped in, it gripped me. I tried calming myself down in any way I could think of. Nothing worked. As if that wasn't bad enough...the nurse's office was closed for dental screenings & they would only except emergencies. If only a panic attack was accepted as an emergency. mad . It occurred all day, one after another after another. For some weird reason, I turn to pain to get me through most of my panic attacks [sometimes it helps to focus on that pain than the one I can't control & makes it feel less terrorizing] Anyways, it lasted aaalllllllll day, even after I got home. I felt a better after I went to my mom's, but I just didn't know why that day was so bad that I came home with a bunch of scratches on my hands. I think it was the worst it's ever been. Though the attacks havent been that bad after that, the continuous attacks never stopped.
What the heck could have cause this random, horrible, out of the blue, relapse?

Post Edited (J-Lynn) : 3/27/2007 6:23:44 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1745
   Posted 3/27/2007 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
During the past couple months I had a number of days like that: Intense panic attacks would focus on my stomach and never quite go away. They were some of the longest days of my life, I kid you not.

I don't know your story but it sounds like you could benefit from some medical treatment, whether it be pharmacological, therapy, or both.

Even on your worst days just try to remember that you WILL feel better soon. The really bad days like today are'll have a better one tomorrow.

Good luck.

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 3/27/2007 7:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I too recently started having panic and anxiety again.  I was panic/anxiety for about nine months, then it hit me harder than it ever had before.  Four months later, It hasn't gotten much better.  I hope things get better for you

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/28/2007 5:37 AM (GMT -6)   
You have been given great input from Debaser and I do hope you will sek medical attention for this and for other problem you have with "trying to rid self of pain"

Post often and know there are many ppl that do feel your pain and suffering
Have gone thru some or most of it
Support here is great as are the ppl
STAY with us please

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/28/2007 12:10 PM (GMT -6)   


I'm so sorry to hear about your panic attacks... how horrible you must have felt getting one after another like that!!

Panic attacks are caused by STRESS and negative thinking.

If you can...try and learn how to relax. Take up Yoga or some kind of exercise...listen to relaxing music...pray or meditate.

Do make an appointment and talk to your doctor about it if you can too. Sometimes therapy will help a great deal.

Good luck to you and "Think Positive"



Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 128
   Posted 3/28/2007 12:18 PM (GMT -6)   
oh sweetheart. i feel so bad for you. Cant you go home when you get like this. do the teachers know that you suffer from this. maybe you should confide in one teacher, so when you get like this you know that there is someone there for you. I know how you feel. i know when i get like this i feel so alone, but feel better when someone is around for me. i will keep you in my prayers, hope you feel better real soon. my heart goes out for you. I will keep you in my prayers. God Bless

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 3/30/2007 10:47 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks you all so much for the suport! I've been feeling a lot better and I'm slowly but surely starting to find a way to clam myself down when I feel a panic attack comming on. One question though-- Is it possible for someone to grow out of panic attacks?


New Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/30/2007 11:53 AM (GMT -6)   
Sure! You'll get over them. I had my first panic attack at 21 and I had them all under control in a years time. I am now 48 and going through the change and I lost my dad so this has brought the panic attacks back into my life but I'm starting to get everything in control again but since I am older and having hormone changes it's not as easy for me to get control as when I was young. I was 25 years without the panic attacks.

Keep working on how to relax and think positive... pray every day, laugh every day and try to keep a smile on your face even if you have to fake it!!! Write down all your thoughts in a notebook or journal every day and make reasonable goals to strive for and track your progress. Make some new friends and talk with them often.

Hang in'll feel better soon!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 3/30/2007 2:53 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi J-Lynn
A doctors visit could be a good thing if things get bad again, possibly meds and/or counselling to learn new skills to cope with all this would be great tongue
I have found over the years that distraction and diversion ~ changing direction from whatever you may be doing when you feel the anxiety building (even if it means going off to the restroom to recover lol), then let the deep and slow breathing kick for me...after a while concentrating on your breathing becomes second nature and anxiety fades away from your life - yahoo! lol
Keep up the good work.
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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 3/30/2007 4:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there Lynn,
Im so sorry to hear that these attacks have started to come back. sad Im shocked as well to hear that your school nurse doesn't class panic attacks as emergencies! Something must have triggered the return of the attacks. Perhaps it is just a mind set that you got in after the attack where you felt sick (because of the phobia)? I would definately see your GP and see what he/she says. On the bright side, you say you managed to control them before so you should be able to regain control again. :-)   Keep a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) and your half way there!
I hope things start to pick up for you

New Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 4/13/2007 10:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I HAVE THE SAME THiNG like im so concentrating on my stomachche during classes that i get panic attacks(i have IBS) and its the most horrible thing in the world !!!!!!!!!!!! the nurses from school  knew me by heart they thout i was skipping too (these days were the most paintfull horrible days of my life).LIKE NO 1 from my siblings and friend understand me i feel so lonenly and i cant come back too school, i cant its soo much pressure cuz its a private high school..I understand you soo much Lynn but i dont know how to help cuz I myself suffer from that.

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 4/15/2007 4:00 PM (GMT -6)   
J-Lynn, I've also suffered from panic as a direct result of emetophobia since I was 7! (I'm 22 now) I know exactly the kind of hell you're going through...the panic you get at feeling slightly sick. I've also experienced consecutive panic attacks just when I'm about to fall asleep and spend 'nights of terror' (insomnia, intense dread, and completely wiped out the next day). Then there were phobia symptoms that accompanied me every waking moment of the day (fear of germs, food contamination, OCD etc). On the question of 'growing out' of panic...I do feel it's improved for me over the years. I still get relapses and deal with the same intrusive thoughts, but regular incidents of incapacitating panic have definitely declined. You mentioned using pain as an outlet...I've been there and it's not a productive solution. It may temporarily rectify the situation by numbing everything else but you have to be conscious that it can't be used as self 'medication' or you'll end up far more issues to deal with.

I'm quite astounded to find someone with such a similar condition as me (I've always felt utterly alone in was something 'new' even for therapists). I'm available anytime if you want to email or chat over MSN ^_^.

Post Edited (Scorpio7) : 4/15/2007 3:03:19 PM (GMT-6)

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