[[a little history]]
Okay, so I've suffered from panic attacks since I was about 7 yrs. old. But I never new what it was until around this year. I always wanted to know what it was and why I would feel soo sick and scared to death and be fine only 20 minutes later. I was so terrified of feeling like that again, that I wouldn't go anywhere but school, my mom's house and my dad's house. In 7th grade it was at it's worst. I left school early & skipped school multiple times. The nurse knew me well & seemed irritated every time I showed up. I guess she thought I was one of those punk kids who just hated school and wanted to leave.
Then in summer of '05 I found someone who amazed me so much that he made my panic attacks subside (except when I felt sick [I have a phobia of vomitting]). He did so many insane things that made me think to myself, "if he can do that, I can definately get through a panic attack". So whenever I felt an attack comming on, I would think of him and it helped me calm down and it eventually it went away. Thinking of this person made my attacks subside up until this week.
Two nights ago, I felt a little sick & a panic attack came on. I figured it would go away in a few minutes, so I tried to wait it out. But it lasted a lot longer than I expected. A few minutes later, another one came on. Then another, then another. It made me too terrified to go to sleep, so I stayed up...until 2:30am. It was horrible. I thought I was better when I left for school, but the second I stepped in, it gripped me. I tried calming myself down in any way I could think of. Nothing worked. As if that wasn't bad enough...the nurse's office was closed for dental screenings & they would only except emergencies. If only a panic attack was accepted as an emergency. . It occurred all day, one after another after another. For some weird reason, I turn to pain to get me through most of my panic attacks [sometimes it helps to focus on that pain than the one I can't control & makes it feel less terrorizing] Anyways, it lasted aaalllllllll day, even after I got home. I felt a better after I went to my mom's, but I just didn't know why that day was so bad that I came home with a bunch of scratches on my hands. I think it was the worst it's ever been. Though the attacks havent been that bad after that, the continuous attacks never stopped.
What the heck could have cause this random, horrible, out of the blue, relapse?
Post Edited (J-Lynn) : 3/27/2007 6:23:44 PM (GMT-6)