You're a sweetheart to send such kind words of support - I'm actually crying as I write this. Just from reading your answer and my reaction to it, I come to realize what alot of my problem is (and I obviously rarely even admit it to myself) - I feel very lonely and alone - especially when things like this arise. I've spent so much of my life handling everything myself but as I get older and issues arise, I realize that we all need support at times and I really don't have any (except here). I don't want to burden my kids, I have no other living relatives anymore and even my closest friends have issues of their own so I don't want to burden them with my neuorsis. So you (and all of you out there in healingwell land) should realize that you contribute alot more than you may realize when you add your words of empathy and concern. Thank you again. (and I may still be writing and whining over the next couple of weeks until this happens but I hope with your support I'll be able to "tough it out" and be a stronger person).