I'm sorry you had a bad day. I know what it's like and it makes me feel bad to hear that. If you ever want to email me feel free to. Do you know what causes you to be dizzy? How is your blood pressure?
No she hasn't started the divorce process yet. She is on my insurance and doesn't want to lose it but made it clear she doesn't want to be my wife at all. She knows it will totally mess me up for money also. Also she knows I have no money for a lawyer. I know her family found her an appartment but I asked her to stay as a roommate now that she is paying half the bills until I can be on my own. I don't know if she will or not. We have a flat and I rent the upstairs to a friend and it is not working out. At this time I don't want to go into the details of that. He is a friend I knew since 2nd grade and I am giving him 30 days notice on may 1st. I need this rent money to survive and I need to make about
$150 to $200 a week on top of that to make it on my own. I asked her to let me settle this problem first before she does anything. She says she'll see. So I don't know what she will do. It's all up in the air. I have no idea from one day to the next what will happen. That is about
where I am at now.
When you got divorced how long did it take you to get over him if you don't mind me asking? Was it any better after the first year? Is it better now?
When Lurch died a part of me did die also. I felt it happen. The only thing that helped and didn't help much is that when they put the needle in and started the process of you know what. I hugged him tight crying and said to him I will see him again when I die and kissed him and watched him slowly stop breathing. I felt like I betrayed him and took part in his death. I felt really low for a long time but he couldn't stand up on his own anymore and it took 2 people to get him in and out of the house. about
1 out of 8 times he could stand up on his own. And then he fell a lot. It was awful because I liked him more than most people. Sorry about
your cats I have had many dogs since I was born and it is really hard to lose them.
You have more than one garden? I bet you have a lot of bees. Do you grow food too or just flowers? I hope I can do the business someday. It is a goal of mine I really want to do. It sometimes seems imposible to achieve but it really shouldn't be if I work hard at it.
Speaking of books I read one on the war of 1812 recently and found out a lot of things I never knew. We almost lost that one too but the British had other wars going on at the same time. Yes I watch tv too. The History Channel is one of my favorites. I split cable with my tennant and it is in his name so I will be without it for a while in the future. I will get it again when I can afford it. I used to be a big football fan. I like the Dolphins but I don't follow it as much as before ever since in around 1994 Miami was a game away from the Super Bowl and had a bad call and lost the game. To your Steelers.;) I like track and field,strongman competitions,boxing,olympics and others. I watch football but not like before. I liked Miami better when they had Shula but it is my team still. Other shows and stations I watch are amimal planet,court tv,sometimes older movies. CNN,martial arts, and Vincent Price movies. And others. A lot of sci fi also.
If the town is called Beaver County I heard of it but I don't think I ever been there. I never heard of Greenville though. If you ever go to Presque Isle I know all the good nature trails and beaches if you ever want me to show you them. Just have to be careful of ticks but it's easy to avoid them. There are deer and foxes down there. I always wanted to get a boat but this I will have to put off for now.
It's cool you do crafts. You could sell them on ebay. Once in a while I sell small sculptures on ebay but recently it is hard to be motivated. What are stencils? Yes crafts and art are good therapy. I am never as relaxed as when doing art with the tv or radio on. Maybe laying on the beach compares. I've been going to the beach since as long as I can remember and I listen to ocean wave cds when I'm in bed sometimes.
I have one friend right now that talks about
ensomnia with me but mine is worse than his. He understands somewhat. I had another friend in the past that had it as bad as me but we lost contact over the years. You are the only one that seems to compare to me. My sister also but she isn't willing to try to fix it. I asked my Dad and he says he has been sleeping well now. He had a really bad divorce recently and seems to be doing so much better. He is so religeous and thanks god for how he feels now. He is where I get my beliefs from but I am not even comparable to him. He had problems with depression and when he is feeling well his advice is the best I can get. He lives every aspect of his life for God and has the best morals of anyone I know. He always tells me different script
ures in the bible to read. I cheat though and bought the bible on cd and listen instead. As far as if people I know help at all with ensomnia none of them compare to you and I only talked to you a few times on here. How about
you. Do you talk to friends or anyone about
ensomnia and does it help at all?
Last night I didn't sleep the best but I got enough not to complain. Tonight I layed down about
1:30 am and woke about
and hour or so later with a headache and really nauseus and sweaty. I took 2 advil and feel a little better. I find I have to take 3 ativan to sleep. Just so you know I'm not the best speller and wing it sometimes. Thanks for taking the time to reply to me I always look foreward to it. I hope you feel better. I'm starting to concider you a friend. I try to pray everynight but often forget but I will start to remind myself to ad you to them that you will feel better. Thanks for replying to my post that first time. I was really in a bad way. I still am but do feel a little better. I hope this Lexapro helps me. Good luck and have a good day and night.
PS I want to know about
your blood pressure.
PSS I wrote you a book sorry.
Post Edited (sloan) : 4/24/2007 5:35:28 AM (GMT-6)