Thank you both for the kind words. It means a whole lot to me; I'm very, very happy someone's getting something out of the blog.
Unfortunately, today has been my worst day in terms of anxiety/panic since I started treatment. I've had a "mini" panic attack, a full blown modified panic attack, and I'm afraid I feel another coming on. Tomorrow will have been SEVEN WEEKS exactly since I started taking the klonopin. Unitl today, I it's hard to remember but I don't think I had a panic attack that entire time. If I did it was mild and I took it in stride. Well, the one while ago couldn't be taken in stride. And the one that's coming is going to be worse than that if it doesn't go away. I took a dose of K exactly two hours ago...maybe it will knock it out as it's due to take effect any minute.
Isn't that weird, though? I'd been doing so well and then BAM. This nausea's really killing me.
There are some possible factors. Residual stress from a very bad week at work last week. The guilt from not seeing my mom on Mother's Day. Not getting nearly enough sleep both Friday and Saturday night. Starting this morning with caffeine and eating bad stuff. Then I didn't eat for a long time after that and then maybe overate a little. Smoked a lot. Sedentary.
So I did just about
everything wrong today. There've been other days that I've done the same thing and it didn't affect me like this, though. Or anything close to it. And it really makes me wonder: is the medicine wearing off? Would it do that so suddenly? Oddly enough, my last six doses were Roche Klonopin that the pharmacist gave me to see if they were any better than the Caraco generic clonazepam I was taking. Is it possible that the generic is somehow better than the original? The whole reason I asked for the "real" stuff was because I was experiencing some minor but annoying anxiety right around dose time. I thought maybe if the real stuff were even a little more potent, it might carry me through just a little longer. If not, I was just going to deal with it.
I'm not sure what to do now. What if this stuff is suddenly back? I've experienced minor setbacks and thought little of them as time went on, but nothing like today. I've written this post very slowly over the course of 20 minutes or so. I think the medicine's kicking in. My stomach feels weird but the nausea is improved. I'm less anxious, but still worried that any of this happened.
Has anyone had any similar experiences?
I'm going off topic in my own thread....geez.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorderanxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/