Hi Mom, Hi everyone who responded....
Lets just say, add me to the list of "I am going through that" because I certainly am...Im tired of it. Today and for the last month, I think Im dying...this time I have some weird tingle, not pain, but a tension in my lower throat that I cant decipher if its from yelling :( or from trying to catch my breath all the time because I just feel like I cant breath! Im constantly trying to figure out what caused it to help me get rid of the thought, but I just cant....Anyways...this thing wont go away...its there all the time..I cant hardly function normally..I truelly believe Im dying from throat cancer or lung cancer. I try to distract myself and when I do, it dicipates (spelling) but then, just because I stop to check if its gone, POOF, its back! and then WHAM, Im dying again and most certain that Im not imaginating this and thats its not my anxiety causing this...Ive definately convinced myself that my anxiety isnt causing this...and sadly, my mom says it is and I just cant believe her.
Ive had anxiety all of my life. Ive been on Zoloft before and did good, then I stopped because I had less stress in my life, which was causing the anxiety to be so bad...but then, I kept having more issues with it...going to the Dr all the time thinking I had some new illness...It takes ONE little cramp, one weird sensation, one mark or weird colored spot and BOOM, my brain begins its awesome homwork and finds my diagnosis and then it sits in my head...leaving me with HIGH anxiety incidents...I cant get away from it...the only time that I feel better is when my life is going good...it could be from meeting someone to money...either way, its the only time I notice it go away.
Im now taking Wellbutrin...just started it and hopefully it will work. I tried taking Zoloft again but I swear my body changed because it caused a serious attack one night so I stopped taking it.
my biggest fear is leaving my kids...3 of them...Im only 29...I stay away from watching sad things on TV/News/Movies because thats all it takes is one little thing and then my anxiety starts up. I know reality out there and sadly it could happen...I just dont want to happen to me.
Ive been drinking wine to help me calm down a bit and to help me forget about this weird tightening tickle in my throat...I dont want to become an alcoholic...but is there something else out there right now that can relieve me of this instantly???? My dad had taken this stuff that calms you, but I havent asked my dr for it...Im about to...because this isnt fair to myself or my kids...I should be more worried about living then dying....my mom says you can make yourself sicker from thinking your sick...and when you keep telling your mind something, its telling your body its there...so she says to tell your mind, nothings wrong...its not there...its ok...well...she got that from "The Secret" so maybe I need to try that...but for now, I think I need confirmation..I need a MAJOR PHYSCIAL to test for everything, then I need a pill to take the anxeity away and then wake up the next day starting brand new and assure myself that Im ok...but this is in my dreams!!!!!
Any suggestions, any thoughts on this??
Thanks for reading...