My SIL gives me anxiety - so what do I do?

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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 6/29/2007 2:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Have you felt that a person is just too much hard work?
My Sil (brothers girlfriend) is a nightmare eyes   we used to be friends and then she got with my brother. We are still friends but I can say hand on heart that I never really knew her at all.
She makes me nervous as I never know if she will go off on one & it makes me anxious.
I am never going to be able to get away from her am I? She will always be around.
She overreacts to everything and turns every mole hill into a mountain.
she can't stand to see anyone (including her own family) to be happy and doing well.
Spending time with her is like walking on eggshells.
Oh god I know I am just ranting but honestly she really does make me feel as if I am drowning.
I think she is jealous of me (she has no reason to be) she just needs to be the best at everything, have the best of everything, it all has to go her way or by god does she make life a misery for everyone until life is just how she wants it.I cant speak to my brother about anything as he tells her everything, infact, I think he is scared not to tell her.
I dont even know what i want to achieve by posting this eyes   I just want to get it off my chest. I have spoken to H about this and he just says "oh tell her $**"&%£" not the most helpful of answers but he does not like her.
She does not believe I ever had PND, even though I was fully diagnosed by my Dr & she does not believe I suffer with anxiety mad
I feel as though everytime I speak to her I have to watch what I say & the tone in which I say it to save her taking offence.
What can I do? Thank you so much for reading
Verity xx
Stress is when you wake up screaming and realise you have not slept.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1449
   Posted 6/29/2007 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   

avoid her as much as you can

sounds a lot like my brother

recovered former longtime anxiety and panic attack sufferer and helper of other sufferers  but no training or  qualifications in medicine or psychology, any remarks that may be taken as advice must be confirmed with doctor or other health professional
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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 150
   Posted 6/29/2007 3:32 PM (GMT -6)   
I agree with Harry. Avoid her as much as you can. Does your brother know what you go through? Maybe you can talk to him.
Normally I would say sit down and talk with her, but if she's as bad as she sounds that's pointless.
I definately would not confide in her anymore about your panic/anxiety you don't need someone telling you what your not going through or feeling.
If you have to see her, just be nice & vague. That way you don't have to worry about hurting your brothers feelings.
I noticed you said your brothers girlfriend, as horrible as this sounds maybe they'll break up and you won't have to deal with her forever. Chances are she treats him the same way.
Hang in there.
Bipolar II, Panic Disorder & OCD
28 Years old
Taking Trileptal 300mg twice a day

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/29/2007 4:53 PM (GMT -6)   


I am Kitt. Relationships are tricky! A relationship can be the best thing that ever happened to us … or our worst nightmare.

Sounds like your brother's significant other is your nemesis and I agree if she is triggering your anxiety you may have to avoid being in her presences in social events.

Would you be able to escape to another room or go outside and visit with people you are ok with?

Find out what time they will be attending an event and try to put in your appearance before or after she has been there.

This is a tough issue to deal with but you need to take care of you and not her.

I am sure others will have some great suggestions.

Welcome to our board.



Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders

Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 242
   Posted 6/29/2007 5:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Verit I could have written your post!! I feel for you, I really do. My SIL has made a few years the most miserable. And it also took me those few years to say "OH WELL" I would take her abuse and out bursts just trying to "keep the peace" But I leanred that is not HEALTHY for me!! My husband and her do not get along well at all either. So long as everything is going her way, she is fine. As you it's being on eggshells.

But the last 2 years we do not speak very often to her, and do not spend time around her. Which is hard because of holidays when his parents come down. That was one of the MANY problems. It was EXPECTED for him to go to her house to be able to visit with his parents. And his mom of course to keep the peace would not do anything with my husband or my husband and I alone, without her. But the last 2 years have been soooooooo nice and peaceful!!! Funny My husband and I were just talking about how nice it has been without all the drama! Everything is drama with her.

Oopps got off subject. But I Can not have contact with her, And keep my sanity at the same time. The Last big incident she had sprayed a dog urine carpet spray on my pants ( i know sounds funny) she had just bought it that came with a Black light to find the spots. Well it burned my skin in the worse way. I did not scream at her, I simply said that was not very smart and she threw a trash can lid at me and that was it for me. I knew right then, I had to cut ties, for my own peace. I was so worried about keeping the peace, that I totally ignored my own well being.

Good luck to you. You will find your way. Hopefully in less time that it took me.
I reject your reality and subsitute my own

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