Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 7/18/2007 3:51:13 AM (GMT-6)
Lyn I think this is a great thread to show that this A/P can be beaten and I myself have been anxiety free for 7 months now and I don't even mind all the tourist coming here to fish as are little town swamped with RV's and the like just hate the long line's and the tourist poking along looking for moose and bears but that's OK as this was the hardest time of the year for me dealing with all the ppl here at one time but I'm doing ok with it now and starting to live my life the way I like it too be.
But it wasn't all way's like this as many of you know how A/P works on us this would have been my worst nightmare and was so for many years, but I took the bull by the horns and had to fight back just to get my life back and it's working out good for me, I'm working again and dealing with ppl, working on thing's that I enjoy doing again, but I still got work to do as I what to get back into the rodeo here but that my have to wait till next year when I'm in better shape for that kind of activate again.
It's late now and I'm hitting the hay but it is good to hear others that are pushing ahead and getting past this it just takes will power to do so, to regain your life back and I thank the ppl of HW for giving me that, and for seeing so many ppl just starting to understand this crud of A/P and to let you know that it can be beaten with the right mind set and to learn how to deal with it as it really dose work
I am Kitt (I bet you thought I was going to say, “Hello, I am Johnny Cash?” J
I have clinical depression, A & P, osteoarthritis severe in right thumb, L5-S1 disc herniation , GERD and IBS. My husband has Crohn's Disease.
I was diagnosed in 1982 with the depression and anxiety. My oldest son had left home for the service and for some reason that seemed to trigger a huge panic attack. I was in therapy and started on AD, one of the old tricyclics. The med did work and after a couple of weeks off work I was able to resume my life.
I really did well with a couple of set backs and changes in meds and more therapy . I started on Tranxene for anxiety and I took one before I left for work everyday. So I have been on a benzo of some sort for all these years.
I am a RN and worked from the bottom as a new grad to the Manager of Emergency Services. Over the years the job evolved into more of a desk job then a bedside nurse in the ER. I had to learn many new things such as pay role, writing policies from scratch, teaching classes about changes in rules and regulations governing hospitals etc. So I started loosing my bedside skills as my head was cluttered with business office information. I always responded to the ER for major incidents such as multiple traumas, cardiac arrest but I started to feel very anxious that someone would ask me to do something that I had not done for a long time like set up chest tubes and I started to take a benzo before going to the ER to work.
Finally in 2005 I had a major melt down, we switched meds, went to Ativan and it took 4 mg at bed time for me to be able to sleep instead of cry all night.
Then back to Pdoc and therapy. I did a knee jerk and decided the job was such a huge stressor for me now that I needed to take early retirement……………never thought of my long term disability insurance. I just resigned. Instead of feeling better I now sat at home starting on 2/20/20006 feeling like I had lost everything and would cry all day.
To make this a bit shorter, I will say that I finally got a med that works pretty well, I am weaning off of Valium and now at 7 mg per day, down from 40 mg. I also was using Vicodin for the back pain and I weaned down and have been off of Vicodin for almost 7 months now.
My therapist is wonderful and she taught me to live in the moment. I saw her weekly for 6 months and we have agreed that I can fly on my own and I know where to find her.
I am able to do many of the things I was afraid to do for so long. I can travel, fly alone without wanting to run back home, go out with friends. I do have some bad days but I know that is part of the Depression and A & P.
I should also mention that our 21 year old son died in a car crash with his best friend in 1990 and I am still a survivor.
I love this site and all of the members………….Healing Well is the best thing since cotton candy.
If I can do this, you can do this. I know you can.
Current meds: Cymbalta 60 mg twice a day, Trazadone 150 mg at bedtime, Prilosec twice a day, Inderal 20 mg daily, and Valium 7 mg at bedtime.
Post Edited (stkitt) : 7/18/2007 9:47:27 AM (GMT-6)
Hi! I usually post on the Crohn's forum, but I thought I'd give this a go. Probably one of the reasons I never posted here before today is that I've been doing so well. I started having terrible, life-altering OCD and depression when I was 8. I started having panic attacks also in my late teens. In the beginning, there wasn't much in the way of drugs and they were really just "discovering" OCD, especially in such a young kid. Anyway, I was finally hospitalized for three months when I was 11, and the behavior modification therapy was cruel, but it worked, along with Prozac, which was a brand-new drug at the time. In the intervening years, I think I have been on every drug on the market except Cymbalta and Zoloft.
Anyhow, I know my OCD and panic attacks never totally went away, because I have had bad bouts of them since, most recently while I was living in Philly in 2002-2004. My depression was also terrible at the time, and my psychiatrist was horrible, and did nothing about it. And of course when your depression is that bad, not only is your panic disorder more likely to get completely out of control, but you are less likely to realize what is happening to you or to get help even if you do.
Anyway, in 2004 I moved, and my new psychiatrist took one look at me and one look at my med list, and said, "Eliminate this, up this, and add this." Within three weeks I felt better than I have at any other point in the previous 18 years. My psychiatrist does a lot of things that annoy me, but she is a freakin' genius with the meds, and sometimes with a chemical imbalance as bad as mine, that's all that really counts. I am now on Wellbutrin XL, Lexapro, and Abilify (which is technically an anti-psychotic, but it helps with the OCD.) But what I'm on doesn't really matter, because everyone needs something different. The point is to find a great doctor, which is easier said than done. You can do what I did, which is to try, try again (or move) until you find the right one, or you can try ratemds.com, which I think is a great resource. It's a site where regular folks like us can rate their doctors on punctuality, knowledge, and helpfulness with a number system, and add comments. It's fairly new, so not everyone is ranked, or they don't have many rankings if they are, but it is growing daily and I have found at least one great doctor because of the recommendations she got.
My doctor is also an addiction psychiatrist, which I thought was stupid for me when I first saw her, because I don't have any addictions, but now I think maybe a good addiction psychiatrist may know more about meds and how they work in the brain. Just a theory.
Finally, do something good for yourself on a regular basis. If you can afford it, get a massage. Read a funny book. (I highly recommend anything by Dave Barry.) Buy yourself a treat, even if it's literally a treat, like a smoothie. Spend some time (15 minutes a week, if need be) and pick up a hobby. Those things do help if you practice them religiously. And find the right med combo!
I made it through a fairly stressful week and that included the collapse of our bridge and two Doctors appointments.
I am very proud of my success even thow I went through some anxiety, I made it .................now if this ole Granny can..........so can you.
Tell us your successes this week.
Post Edited (Howlyncat) : 8/17/2007 5:37:43 AM (GMT-6)
To my big sis
Home sweet home
Friends and Family
Dreams Come True
Congratulations on your new Home.
Congratulations, that is awesome news.
Gentle Hugs to you.
Hi everyone. I doubt if anyone remembers me.... but I used to be a moderator on this board. I haven't posted in ages and now feel strangely SHY!! I just wanted to tell people that I have lived with excruciating anxiety for twelve years and for me the only thing that works is medication. For the last eighteen months I have been given my life back due to Effexor (before that I was on a tricyclic which worked brilliantly for about seven years). I now work two days a week in a training centre for adults with learning disabilities.
I run two choirs - one for teenagers and one for senior citizens, have ten private singing pupils and sing in two other choirs myself, run a home, two grown up kids.... oh and a husband! When my tricyclic stopped working I relied heavily on HW and it helped me more than I can say.
I still sneak on and keep an eye on everyone (especially that Lyn... she needs a lot of keeping an eye on ). Lyn... I am so pleased you have a fresh start, so pleased you are back with Howie, so pleased Cait is happy and is doing so well and SO pleased you have no sores or IV!
Hello and Congratulations on your success. I am Kitt. What a pleasure it is to have you share with all and I hope you stop by often. It is good to have someone that has made it through post and give hope to the wonderful family in A & P.
I am enjoying working with Lyn and AK immensely and they have been so good to me. I am very pleased to meet you. Gentle Hugs