Anxiety is getting worse... panic and agoraphobia

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/18/2007 9:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I first posted around this time last year.. I was feeling anxious and started having panic attacks, which delayed my graduation from school. I started seeing a psychologist because I was so afraid to go back and finish. Long story short, every class I was in was very difficult and caused me to sweat and unbearable nervousness. I finished school, graduated, and got a job. I felt as if things were getting better.

I have been doing things that I couldn't do around this time last year: go to movies, ride on a boat, and even flying on a plane last week (with help from Xanax). However, things started going downhill shortly after I returned home from my trip.

I went to a wedding with my girlfriend and started freaking out before the ceremony started. We were seated right in the middle of the church, in the middle of a row. I have a huge problem with weddings because I feel as if I can't get up and leave if I need to. They also make me nervous/panic because of core issues I have with my parents and their divorce/relationship growing up. I'm not a very trusting person which breeds negativity. I know this is a bad thing and am trying to change it.

Anyways, I got up and moved to the back of the church, close to the door, and I instantly felt better. The biggest problem is that I am supposed to be IN one of my best friend's weddings in 6 weeks! I was telling my friend about my experience at the wedding this past weekend and think that I scared him. He is very understanding of my issues and said that he could ask someone else and said "it doesn't matter if you're sitting or standing... you'll be there and I know you want to be there.." All I could do is cry and feel like a huge failure. I can deal with being anxious, uncomfortable, and nervous; but I do not want to be the 'weird' guy standing up there shaking and fidgeting with everyone staring at me. If something happens or if I feel like I am going to pass out, I can't just walk away....

These feelings have started to depress me because it feels as if I have no self-control. I went to the doctor and he prescribed Zoloft for me. I am open to do whatever I can to overcome this anxiety, but it feels as if it's going to be with me forever. Whenever I overcome one thing, there is always something else around the corner to worry about sad

I don't know what to do anymore. I took the day off of work to relax. I hope the zoloft helps.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1336
   Posted 7/18/2007 10:27 AM (GMT -6)   
When my brother asked me to be in his wedding in Colorado (I live in Mass) I said yes and then immediately was terrified. I hadn't flown in 10 years and I had never been in a wedding before. I had 4 months before my trip and I called right away and got into therapy. I don't do meds, but the therapy for my fear of flying was so helpful and my fear of being up at the wedding and passing out or freaking out was talked about as well. When it came time 4 months later to fly, I was hella nervous, but I did it and I was fine. Well, I always had a fear of being too far from home and I had to drive 3 hours from Denver to the wedding site and I was so nervous, but again, it was a great ride and I got scared the altitude would affect me but it didn't. Getting ready for the wedding I was nervous, but I did it and I stood up at the wedding and I was just fine. It was helpful that is was outside and not a long ceremony, but it was actually a lot of fun and my anxiety subsided and allowed me to get through the entire day. It is funny, but sometimes the thought of doing it is worse than actually doing it. I freaked out for 4 months and as it turned out, I had the best week of my life and never felt better than when I was on that trip.

I would do it and if your friend understands you, just let him know that if you get too bad that you might have to step out for a moment, but normally when the ceremony begins, you sit in pew in the front and just watch the wedding. And if you had to get up and leave to catch your breath, he would understand. I think you will do ok. The fear is worse than the bite.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/18/2007 1:43 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Matt,

I am sorry you are having this problem.  I have had the same thing happen but not about being in a wedding.

What role are you fulfilling in the wedding?  A grooms man. Would there be a chance that you could talk to your friend and if you cannot stand in front at the wedding, you and the usher could just change places?

No one is going to think less of you, and if they think anything.........tough, they own the problem.  You need to just take care of you.

Therapy would be helpful. You wrote "I don't know what to do anymore". Boy we have all said that a bazillion times.  It seems hopeless and we feel the need to fix it right now. Be good to yourself and just be in the moment. Have your plan set or if you have to sit down, have a explanation.  Your felt lightheaded, no breakfast, to hot in suit............make it just a short explanation.

Keep posting as you will receive lots of support.

Now when You go to the wedding, bring me back a piece of cake....I love wedding cake. yeah

Bless you my friend.

Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*

Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/19/2007 12:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks to those who read and those who responded. I'm taking the Zoloft today and feeling a little zombie-ish. I really trying not to dwell on it so much but the whole 'coming and going' anxiety thing really has me down.

I'm thankful for everything that I have and keep telling myself that this really isn't that bad. That's the extent of my optimism :-)

Thanks again, I will keep you posted.
- Matt


Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1986
   Posted 7/19/2007 12:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Matt,
I know how you feel in a lot of ways...long story, but anyhow, I was on zoloft for 12 years and it did very well for me until it finally pooped out. Now I'm on paxil.
You have already received great advice. Remember to not judge yourself in comparison to others. It does you no good and they're NOT you! You are the only one tha knows how you feel and if they look down on you for something you can't help, then they should be ashamed!
Yesterday's dead
Tomorrow's unknown
Today is here
And soon will be gone.
Use it wisely
Before it's too late
Remember to love
And forget to hate.

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 7/19/2007 10:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi I just wanted to let you know I understand completely how you feel. I live with it eveyday and have missed out on doing so many things with my son and bf. It ruined my marraige...what more can I say. Sometimes situations seems easier then others. I am doing everything I can to cope. We are all here for don't fear. Keep posting.

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 7/19/2007 11:03 PM (GMT -6)   
I think almost all people with Anxiety do poorly in situations which don't have an out. I have a really hard time flying as well and boats are just something I can't do. When I started dating my husband I actually refused to get on a plane to go to Florida. Of course he couldn't figure it out and was very upset with me. 6 years later he has learned when I look at him with that freaked out look and say "I can't get on the plane"he just calmy says it's okay, we don't have to. usually in the end because he isn't going to be mad I will go. I may cry the entire time but I eventually board the plane. I think it is very nice that your friend understands enough to want you there standing or sitting. While it is so much easier said than done worring about how you will react will of course bring on anxiety. Just go and if you have a problem realize that your friend will still be your friend, I am sure that friendship wasn't built in one day. Good luck, my thoughts are with you.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 7/20/2007 6:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. I've taken the Zoloft for two days now and haven't figured it out. The bottle says it can cause drowsiness, which it does. I get tired within 30 minutes (taking it at night), but then I wake up around 3 or 4 am and can't get back to sleep. Oh well, I guess I'm just getting used to it.

You are right about my friend. I have known him a long time and he understands. He has been calling me everyday since I talked to him to see how I am doing. I still feel upset with myself but I am determined to work through this. Thanks for everyone's support.
- Matt


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