Believe it or not, I know how you feel. I've been dealing with chronic illnesses all my life, and it makes me very depressed sometimes. Lately my depression has been getting worse because in April I fell and broke my ankle in two places and had surgery, and I just started walking again a week ago. Three months in a wheelchair. Plus my Crohn's is out of control, which means my diabetes is out of control, which means I got an infection that settled into my lungs and made my asthma out of control, so I just generally feel like a bucket of refried dog crap. Anyway, I didn't mean for this post to become about
my problems; just to say that I too am very depressed because of chronic health issues. It's hard, because not many people understand, but that's what this forum is for. There are others who do understand, and we all wish you well.
It sounds like you're down on anti-depressants, but don't give up. It took me years to find the right combination, but when I found it, I felt oodles better. It was like night and day. And maybe you could try an anti-anxiety pill for your anxiety; those are different from anti-depressants, of course, and they might help you a great deal. My favorite is ativan; it always takes the edge right off.
I don't really know what to say, because I can't take your troubles away, and being sick all the time really does stink, no doubt about it. So all I'll say is hang in there and I'll be rooting for you.
29 yo female with two fuzzy children: a Pom named Snuggles and a Pom mix named PomPom.
Health History: Type I diabetes (19 years), allergies/asthma, hypothyroidism, osteopenia & multiple fractures, iron-deficiency anemia, Crohn's (of course), and depression (go figure.)
Crohn's History: May have had it since I was 11 (1988-89), definitely have had it since I was 15, was diagnosed when I was 25 (2003), was un-diagnosed in 2005 and re-diagnosed June 2007.