ooo I like this thread! reading real stories from real people helps me so much, especially because it lets me see that I am not the only one with these thoughts and bodily sensations! I like to share experiences. even if I am the only one I know in real life. I have met one other person recently and one sometmies share experiences. Like alot of you guys much of my anxiety comes from my "thoughts" and ruminations. I obsess about my health and worry that I have illnesses or cancers. I think and fear about death alot and have become quite morbid and pessimistic over the past year due to alot of unexpected deaths around my farm. I usually keep it to myself but lately I have been expressing the thoughts outloud to other people and that is just no good. I tend to catastrophize events and not realize it. I fear going insane. I do not handle being alone for long periods of time well at all unless I am asleep or absorbed in something which does not happen often. I get real clingy and worry about my loved ones leaving me, avoiding me or hating me. I also have borderline personality disorder though so I think some of my excessiveness comes from it and actually causes my anxiety and derealization....physical symptoms: scrunched eyebrows, raised eyebrows, eyelid twitch, neck and shoulder spasm, sore back, high blood pressure, hot flashes, facial flushes, a shaking sensation, chest pain, fast pulse, sweats, inability to swallow, dizzy, very easily startled, nausea, muffled hearing, I hold my breath and do not realize it. I sometimes feel the need to just run. I get VERY hungry after a big startle and cannot stop munching. I live in almost a perpetual state of "I don't feel real" but I know I am so I function pretty well despite the fact I feel SO frighteningly disconnected. I am definitly going back on zoloft in August I think because when I was taking that I really felt more connected, less terrified and had fun. I had one panic attack in 4 or 5 years of taking it and now I have a panic attack or anxiety attack when I think about certain stuff (or go to the dentist or doctor) I went off of it about 2 years ago and I slowly have progressed back into the anxiety machine.