HELP what is wrong with me

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 8/6/2007 5:10 PM (GMT -6)   
i was just wondering if anyone could give me insight on my problems. about 10 months ago i got worried i had ms, that episode led to me not eating for a week and major panic attacks. my dr. put me on paxil for 6 months it seemed to help the anxiety but becuase of side affects switched me to prozac which didn't help. one of me biggest problems is that i hear of an illness then start thinking what if's which leads into a snowball effect that leads up to major anxiety but she said this could be "racing thoughts" and be part of bipolar so then she put me on zyprexa 5 mg which didn't do anything different except make me gain weight and retain huge amounts of fluid in my legs and feet after only being on it for 3.5 weeks. my next apt. i decided to go off all meds to get my body back to normal but after only a week i started having major anxiety about becoming crazy or shizaphrinc and havimg to be hospitalized or going into a phycosis state and hurting my family or something. i have now tried to relize that i am probley not going crazy and that nothing bad is going to happen to anyone but it seems i have become depressed or soomething. i don't want to go any where or talk to any body or anything. i just want to go to bed but that always makes me start the what if's again which brings on panic attacks. i just started back on paxil for 6 days but i am not seeing much releif. at times i just feel hopeless and that i am not going to get over this the thought of ending up all alone in a hospital not seeing my family keeps coming to mind. i have been fighting this for 1.5 weeks now during the whole time with no appetite and the thought of food makes me sick. when i do try and eat i feel like i am going to choke tring to swallow. what do you all think? am i crazy on my way to an institution or is this anxiety, or could it be bipolar. any comments will be greatly thanked.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/6/2007 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   

Dear Godsgrace,

Imo it seems to me you have alot of the symptoms of anxiety as well as Health anxiety. Your going in circles and you need to break out of the circle of thoughts that you are going crazy.

I believe it is good that your back on the Paxil but remember the lag time to get the AD working.  I hope you have a physician you trust as well as a good therapist.

I am glad you are with us and keep posting. We are here for you.

Hugs to you.

Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 8/7/2007 11:42 AM (GMT -6)   
i have a very supportive husband who is wrecking his brain tring to help me. i know that if i could just get my thoughts of going out of it behind me then i would be fine. the problem is i am having a hard time getting out of those circle of thoughts. i don't have insurance that will pay for any mental health professionals. my dr. i think is just tring to guess what is wrong. i know that no one can diagnose me over the computer but any more advice is apprecaitive. do you think if you think about something long enough , it will come true? can you make yourself crazy or drive yourself to be put into the hospital?

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 768
   Posted 8/7/2007 12:12 PM (GMT -6)   
I haven't written for many months now but after reading your post I just had to reply - firstly can you tell me how old you are?  When I was in my early twenties I had EVERY single symptom you are having - I was convinced I was going crazy and would end up in a mental institution for the rest of my life - I just couldn't stop thinking about it.  I was also convinced I had every disease known to man and that I was definitely dying of something.  I am now 60 years old, I haven't died and I haven't gone crazy - and neither will you.  This is ALL anxiety and possibly depression with a dose of ocd thrown in - I went to psychiatrists for years and years, went on and off meds, had periods of years when I felt just fine and some periods where the anxiety came back.  But once you realize that you will NOT go crazy - it's just you're anxiety getting the best of you - you'll begin to realize that you're not alone either - that millions of us suffer from these same crazy thoughts/obsessions.  Once you get the correct medication and hopefully some good therapy - as well as read a few of the many books that are out there on anxiety - you'll at least have the comfort of knowing you're NOT crazy and that others suffer with you.  I swear when we're young and those hormones are pulsing through us, anxiety seems worse than ever - during my thirties and early 40's I was much better - then once menopause hit I was hit again with anxiety.  The ONLY thing good about it this time was that I knew what to expect and I knew I really wasn't crazy, just needed to go back on meds again and probably see a therapist to deal with this latest round.  Stay strong and understand you are NOT unique - I for one can attest to that because I suffered all the same symptoms you are having.  Good luck - and know that it WILL get better.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 8/7/2007 12:26 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you so much andwes for your reply. i am 26. did you ever worry about if you were going to start hearing voices and such? i read a story on andrea yates( she drowned hear 5 kids after hearing a voice ) and that is when this all started . i have been scared out of my mind i am going to start hearing voices and go crazy and do something to my family. that alone is causing me major depression and panic attacks. everyone just tells me to get over it it isn't going to happen, but i just can't seem to make myself beleive it. and i know until I do , i won't see releif. or atleast i am afraid i won't. i even feel nervous around my family, i know i would never hurt them but when you hear of someone elses experiences it makes you wonder what could happen. i would rather be worring about a physical disease instead of this. was you ever hospitalized? was you ever afraid you would loose it and hurt someone? i can't even eat and can't rest. i have been like this for 1.5 weeks now.
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