I'm just going to come out and say this, hopefully not breaking any rules or stepping on any toes in the process.
If your life is really in disarray, then I recommend very strongly that you see a psychiatrist. Basically all most of them do is dispense these types of drugs, and so they can rely on experience to take a lot of the "trial and error" out of the picture. I'd go in and ask for a long-acting benzodiazepine in for the short term, at least. They're not like SSRI's. These drugs are very simple and work on just about
everyone. There are side effects but from what I've read of peoples' experiences they're less problematic than the SSRIs, especially at the onset of treatment for anxiety disorder. In the short run the SSRI's tend to have a stimulating effect and will make you worse and you have to wait for that period to pass. I've read that Effexor is similar.
A psychiatrist will know a lot more than I or anyone else here, but at least ask them about
it. There are many people who take benzodiazepines only while they're adjusting to the other types of meds. If you want your life back, that's your best chance (in my opinion, at least).
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorderanxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/