So, I feel like I am done moving forward now, and from here on out, it is going to be back, back, back. I have been on the 10 mg of Lexapro since the end of June. For a while, I was starting to feel pretty good with that. Almost back to normal. I was going shopping, and going to family functions, and going for walks again, and just living a normal, and almost carefree life. NOW, well, I am starting to wake up with the panic attacks every morning. I can't go further than my parents house across the street, and that is even sometimes a struggle. I was doing fine with my boyfriend being at work, now, I long for him to come home again. The way I am starting to feel is the way I was feeling before I was on the Lexapro, and that stinks. I went like 3 full weeks with NO XANAX, and now, I take anywhere from one to four .25 mg pills a day. Why is this happening? What the heck do I need to do to get my life back???
I am both mentally and physically tired, and I am tired of being tired. I am feeling depressed again, and that feeling sucks, because I wasn't feeling any depression with the Lexapro. My chest wasn't feeling tight, and all the sudden the tightness is back. I was back to living life for what it was, and now I look forward to bed time, but I dread waking up. Waking up is scary to me, because I wake up full of anxiety, or in a panic attack. This is scaring me. I was getting life back, and now I feel it being pulled away from me again. I am scared, and I am sad, and I don't know what to do.
Other quick updates...Mom is doing great. NO BLEEDING lately. (knock on wood)
We are going to probably be moving to that other unit this week. It is right behind the unit we are in now, it is just more updated, and a lot nicer. The owners are suppose to be coming out here either today or tomorrow to access any damage we have in this place, and see what they would want us to pay for rent.
The maintenance man finally worked on the water damage, but we were without my sons bedroom all weekend, so he and I had an all weekend slumber party in the living room. I brought his bed out and put it next to the couch. We had a nice time. If nothing else, something good came out of the whole water damage thing...Jay Jay and I spent a whole weekend having mommy and son time! It was nice!
No guys, I haven't gone to the dentist. Anxiety takes priority over anything else.... But, my tooth is feeling fine...(again, knock on wood) I am going to deal with the tooth as soon as I can, and until then, I pray to God that my tooth stays quiet for me.
At any rate, if anyone has any advice, or words of wisdom for me, as usual, it is much appriciated. I hope everyone had a great weekend, and I wish everyone a happy MONDAY!!!
Lots of Love!
Dealing with panic
for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off. Major health anxiety
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now. I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
Best Wishes to all...Tammy