Hey. I am not agoraphobic, but I do have a fear. My worst fears are people, talking, failure, and hurting myself. I know that sounds bad. I will explain.
I fear people because I don't like to be around people, groups, assembles, anything like that. I hate going to school because I can't stand the classroom with so many people. Or the hallways, or lunchroom, or gym, or games, anything like that. When I am around people like that I feel very scared. Shakey. Nervous. Hot. Racing thoughts. My heart pounds.
I fear talking like in front of groups. I can't stand up in front of anyone. I also have a very very hard time talking about my feelings or thoughts. I am seeing my counselor now and I have a very hard time opening up to her and being totally honest about my feelings.
I fear failure at just about anything. I freak out over a test at school. I fear failing the test. Which happens from time to time. Then, I beat myself over it. I also fear failing at life. I am pretty sure this won't happen(at least I hope), but I feel like it is something I can't control.
I fear hurting myself, obviously, because I don't want to hurt myself. I am pushed to the edge sometimes where I want to explode and make everything come to an end. I get so fed up with people and things and, honestly, life in general. BUT, I have self-control so..but I fear hurting myself because I fear getting worse. Like, what will happen if one day I am worse and snap and can't control myself? What if I am not thinking like 'myself'? That's why I fear hurting myself.
I feel like these are pathological fears. Because I have tried to control them, but I can't seem to. So, these are my fears! Thanks.