Yes, thank you. It scares me that one day it will get out of hand and I am the type of person that would not let that happen. And it can slowly happen over time and before I know it, it could be out of hand and I won't even realize it. It is just not acceptable to me, it's the type of person I am. I understand the family thing. My dad is opposite of yours though. He would rather be abround me more than anyone else. I guess I understand him more and he seems to enjoy being with me. When I got hurt earlier this summer, it was a week before a vacation to the beach. He was bummed that I couldn't go, and even more bummed that if I did go, I couldn't get in the ocean(which I love so much). We go really far out with ours boards and have a great time, so he was bummed that I wasn't able to.
So, he called and had it cancelled to another time later when I would be able enough to get in the water and do the things I love so much. BTW, it was a lawn mower accident where I 'accidently' stuck my foot under it and almost lost some toes, had some stitches and couldn't walk. The doctor said if I got in the ocean it would probably get infected and I would lose my toes, foot, or entire leg. So, I opted not to. That's what he cancelled it! But he owuldn't go unless I could go!
Anyways, sorry, I went to my counselor today. It was a huge bummer. Something about the feeling of her office, and sitting there talking with her, I was so scared. I couldn't breath. I had time to think about it before I went so I got really nervous and felt like I couldn't breath and got really hot. I was going to tell her some things I have really been trying to talk to her about(the last 2 or 3 times I have went) and when she asked me if had anything to talk to her about I shook my head no. I couldn't do it. I can't believe it. I was so upset with myself. I understand it takes time, but I have been wanting to do it so bad and when my chance came I let myself down.
I can't believe I couldn't just tell her. It sounds so easy, so why is it so hard to actually do. I am thinking of just writing her another letter and giving it to her next time so she can read it then we can talk. I just have a really hard time talking about stuff. I get so nervous and so scared I can barely talk. I feel like I can say and express things better in a letter. I will probably end up doing this because it is depressing me that I can't tell her and I want someone to know. So, I guess a writing it down and giving it to her is the only way, because I can't say anything out loud.
Well, anyways, thanks so much. Also, I am 16. And, yes, I have a myspace. If you would like to check it out its www.myspace.com/wilson_gal22 You have one? I am a huge Grey's Anatomy fan so you will probably see that on mine ALOT! But, enjoy. Thanks so much for the replies. I will let you guys know how the letter goes. Thanks so much!!