Except for the past few days, I've been doing well with A/P disorder over the last few months (since accepting treatment), but still cannot imagine a girl putting up with me so I've been avoiding that part of life. I know it can't be easy.
But if she pursues treatment, she will get better. How much better she gets depends on a lot of factors. Honestly, it will probably be a long road because it's a progressive disorder that when left untreated generally does get worse and worse. She's had it a long time.
But one thing working in her favor (whether she acknowledges it or not) is that she apparently does have someone who care for her just the way she is. You're obviously a patient man, and if you can convince her to accept treatment your being with her will probably accelerate her recovery. I believe if I had a girlfriend who was cool with this, I'd be a lot farther along. A/P sufferers get trapped in their own minds, see. They become very self-centered. I'm not trying to insult anyone (I'm part of the group) but it's just the truth. As a result we cannot see things logically. Everything is distorted. When I go through my "bad spells" I fall back into the same traps. Another person around (the right person) would probably stem some of that.
The thing you have to remember is, you're not her therapist. If you were, it would be dysfunctional. Number one, she needs medical help that you cannot give her but can perhaps convince her to pursue. I'm not a big believer in psychotherapy, but in her case where things clearly go back to her childhood, it may be necessary. You can't be that person. It has to be an objective professional. You're not that, but you can point her in the right direction.
Somehow you have to convince her that she can get better if she makes these steps. I'd point her to this forum for starters.
My Brain: My friend, My enemy: A blog to chronicle my attempt to recover from anxiety/panic disorderanxietypanicdisorder.blogspot.com/