Hey there everyone...thanks a bunch for all the posts and the support. Truthfully, I am beginning to think that Lexapro is the wrong drug for me. Here's why:
Got prescribed it June 26th, 2007...Took a half pill for the first 4 days (5mg) per doctors order. Then, went to the 10 mg dose. It did great for me...meaning, it helped me overcome agoraphobia...(for the most part) and it helped my anxiety go down a lot. Didn't seem to have much affect of getting rid of panic attacks.
July was pretty good, as that's when I started to really see some improvement.
August, I started to feel bad again, noticing way more panic attacks, and slipping back into not wanting to leave again, also started feeling separation anxiety from John. Doctor upped Lexapro to 20 mg in early August, and said I would be fine.
I felt pretty good through the rest of August, and so far in September, UNTIL the past few days...I am back to regular panic attacks...some big, some small. This morning, I had a HUGE one...Woke up at 5:30 a.m. with a panic attack...like I use to. I was shaking really bad, I was nervous, my chest was tight, I simply couldn't calm down. I try to fight this battle without Xanax, but I had no choice, and today after like 10 minutes of suffering, I got up, had .5 mg of Xanax...and after around 30 more minutes of shaking and fear, I calmed down. Panic attacks really tire me out, especially when they are so big, so now today, I am exhausted. I took Jay Jay to school, came home, and went back to sleep. I just got up, only because I forced myself to.
I feel like the Lex only works for like a month or so, then poops right out. I am certainly going to talk to my PDOC about this, but is that even possible? Can it work for a month or so and then give up? Has anyone ever heard about that?
This is a vent, and I don't want to sound like I am giving up, because I like to try to stay positive as much as possible, but how much more can I take? This is a scary, and soemetimes lonely battle to fight. Sometimes I look at "normal" people outside, like pumping gas, or when we pass a resturaunt while driving...and I say to myslef that those people have no idea how lucky they are...I never had any idea how lucky I was before I started the battle with anxiety and panic. I took everythign I did for granit...like going to the movies or to a resturaunt...all the things I can no longer do, but I once could. It is sad sometimes....and I feel myself slipping into a depression now. John pays for everything, because I cannot go back to work. I am sitting at home doing nothing, which doesn't seem right to me. John is accepting and understanding to this, but I on the other hand get angry at myself, and get angry at this disease...because it tells me what I should be doing and waht I can do in life. It just isn't fair.
Guys, I know this post was long, and for real, I could go on and on and on...but I don't want to take up all your time on me, me me. LOL. If you are still reading, thank you for making it through. If you have a comment, that is great, if not, I understand. Thank you all for the support.
Today is just one of those days....UGH
Dealing with panic and anxiety for 8 years off and on...right now more on than off. Major health anxiety as well!
New found issues with agoraphobia...working on that too.
I am NOT weak, I am just down right now. I am doing what it takes to get my life back!!!
Best Wishes to all...Tammy