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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/2/2007 7:49 AM (GMT -6)   
I don't know if anyone remembers me, I used to Post here along time ago under Anxiousoanxious or some name similar, my name is emerson if that helps any..
anywho, Point being I've returned to this board because I've been trying so hard to look past my Panic disorder for the last 5 years I've had it. I mean it's to the point where I know that when I'm having one that It's just a panic attack and it will go away and that I'm not dying but the Fear doesn't change..It still scares me everytime I have one. I just want to get my life on track and live a happy NORMAL life without anxiety interfering in every facet of my life. I was seeing a doctor for my problems but it seemed all he was doing was pushing medication on me...and very addictive meds at that (effexor(150mg) and Xanax(1mg). I mean they help a bit but I had to take my self of effexor because he wouldn't and my insurance under my father is ending when I turn 21( in 11 days) so I couldn't afford effexor but I can afford Xanax without insurance..anyway back to my point. I didn't feel like my doctor was helping my figure out why I have panic disorder and why I can't just control it.
On top of all that heap of mess, on Oct 17th I'm moving out of state with my girlfriend to live with her family because my family doesn't want me here anymore because they feel at their age the need to be alone, which is understandable. They just don't understand my delima with my mental state but anyways I'm just really racking my mind trying to figure out how best to deal with the cards dealt to me..any advice?
Thanks in Advance

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/2/2007 9:49 AM (GMT -6)   


Welcome back to Healing Well.  I am wondering if you have ever been in any kind of therapy. You wrote your racking your brain to figure out why this is happening.  May I suggest you work on dealing with how to get through the attacks or learn to prevent them.  None of us know why they happen to us and not other people.

It appears you are under a lot of stress without much for a support system which is most likely contributing to the increase in anxiety.  Have you tried journaling?  Writing your thoughts and feelings down is very helpful.  Include what you were doing when the panic attack started.

Also CBT therapy is wonderful.  If you cannot afford it here is the link to the online site. Moodgym is a free self help program to teach cognitive behaviour therapy skills to people vulnerable to depression and anxiety.

I am so sorry you are going through this...coming here and talking about this as well as sharing it with others is the best thing to do.
Take care and keep posting.
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter


New Member

Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/2/2007 11:02 AM (GMT -6)   
I definently am without a real support system. My father has panic attacks but only when he flys. So, He just doesn't understand that it's diffrent for me than him when it comes to panic attacks.

I've tried CBT but I was unable to continue doing it because of problems with getting there(it's 45 minutes away) I wasn't even doing it long enough to see if It would reap any benefits.

Thing's weren't going so bad for me for awhile there, I got a promotion at work to a nightshift manager and I was getting good money but the anxiety has just been getting to me lately but ive been trying to deal.

I'll give that site a look and see if it helps


Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 322
   Posted 10/2/2007 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Emerson_

I would suggest looking into helpful resources in the state you are moving to. Planning ahead a little bit, and finding some resources close to your new home will help ease your mind a bit. I'm might be moving to another state as well, and i'm already looking for places that cater to anxiety and panic. It seems like most major cities have a lot of resources and it seems to ease my mind that i already know what they're called and where they are (i have them all book marked, or written down). Also, while you still have insurance, maybe call them and ask them if the can refer you to a place in the new state you are moving to. There might be few calls to a few places, but i think that it maybe a good starting point if you cant find what you're looking for online.

And for why you have it and why you cant control it -- thats such a complex question, But it sounds like your doctor isnt giving you the information you need. Sorry to hear that. That sounds frustrating. Maybe see if you can find a place that offers free support, where you are moving? Or if you can try and see a therapist while you are still insured. Try and take advantage of that if you can. Just go in with a list of questions and start rattling them off to them. If they don't help you, there really is no lose for you, and at least you tried.

Its good that you recognize that you have panic and you arent going to die from it, and it sounds like you really have a mature outlook on your situation. The fact that you really want to learn more about it, and you want to not just be put on medication seems like a very positive thing. Lots of people run to meds, but i personally don't think medication alone (well at least for me) is enough. You seem to be on the right track, even though you might feel overwhelmed by it all. Maybe just a few minor things will help ease things. Just know that moving to a new state, or anywhere is a huge stresser and if you have more anxiety or panic during the move or when you get there, just know that it is completely normal.

take it easy,
Anxiety and Panic Disorder.

"Breathe! You Are Alive"
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 322
   Posted 10/2/2007 11:11 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Emerson, i just read your reply. Totally normal to have the feelings you have. For one, your dad doesnt get it, and two you are moving. Thats huge man. I think you're doing pretty good! Its hard what you are going through, but once you settle in your new place, things will being to come together. I would say, try and focus on one thing at a time. For me, its when there are too many things going on that i really feel overwhelmed. The move is big, maybe focus on that. You're doing great. I can tell by the way you write. You might be anxious, but you sound like you're hanging in there. Keep it up man.

Anxiety and Panic Disorder.

"Breathe! You Are Alive"
- Thich Nhat Hanh

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/4/2007 4:34 PM (GMT -6)   
HI there Emerson
great to see you again'
I remember you very well and I was hoping things had calmed down for you

As you may recall I was the biggest SKEPTIC on CBT back when......
Now I use it and it has really and truly given me hope and helped me to overcome so MANY obstacles in my life
I use the older version of the one Lil sis posted '

Please give it a shot it cannot hurt you

Dan has given Fantastic input / advice as well I see so again just want you to know you are still very much a part of this family


Keep with us and just keep us in the loop to as to how you are doing
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 DX with Crohns, Pyoderma Gangrenosum,Anxiety /Panic
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at wit's end
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 569
   Posted 10/5/2007 10:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Well, I hadn't been on here in a good while. I have pretty much gotten over my issues. Went on vacation the end of August, got pretty much straightened out. I am not having to take any Lexapro or Xanax. I am a little nervous right now and have been for a week as I have a doctor appointment coming up the 19th that I totally dread. I have had two abnormal pap smears in a row and am having to have another one on that date and if it shows the same I am going to have to have more extensive tests to find out the cause. I've already had to have two extra tests back in January other than a pap smear that were not pleasant. It has me a little tense and nervous and anxious and I am on edge. I feel a little anxiety trying to creep back in but I am not letting it get the best of me. All of my symptoms were anxiety and stress related I feel as they have pretty much been gone for over a month now. So I am trying to make sure I keep control of things and don't let it progress back to that. Just wanted to pop back in and say hello.
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