I went to Wal-Mart. There were just a few things I needed and felt so good and productive throughout the day that I called my husband at work and asked if he felt like going to Wal-Mart after supper. He said sure. My son also had some money that was burning a hole in his pocket and wanted to spend. Before we even had supper, I told him that he need to have a couple things in mind of what he wanted to buy because I wasn't going to wait all night for him to make up his mind.
The second I walked out of our house it started - the anxiety building. I should have just turned around and gone back in the house. But I thought that I could work through it, but it only got worse.
I knew exactly what I needed to get and figured it would just take me maybe 15 minutes to get it and check out. Well, apparently my family all wanted to be pokey - my husband doesn't normal like to just "look around" at things, but he did last night - which in turn made me feel like I was there alone. Not a good thing for me. I kept having to stop and wait for him to get done looking at whatever caught his attention.
My son, decided that he wanted to be a brat (and I'm using a nice word, but that's not really what I'm thinking - LOL) and play head games with me about what he wanted to buy. Before we left the house he had his two choices narrowed down - we got to the store and he didn't look either. Now, I was getting really upset and angry with him. I got to a point that I said to him "you have two minutes to decide what you want or you get nothing". I was heading to the checkout area. He got something that was acceptable.
By the time this scene has ended and with the fact that everyone had been so pokey, my anxiety level was through the roof. I got home, practically collapsed and started crying. Eventually, I calmed down enough that I could talk to my husband.
I honestly thought that I had everyone prepared that we weren't going to be there very long, but I guess not. What could I have done differently with this whole situation? Any thoughts would be so much appreciated.
Thanks and I think I'm going to bed now, because the meds are starting to kick in. Sweet dreams everyone.
Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, and Social Anxiety
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
A slip of the foot you may soon recover,
but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.