I spent most of yesterday highly anxious due to the fact that I have an appt. with my medication management doctor today which I totally dread, not to mention the fact that I haven't been out of the house in two weeks, so I got myself pretty wound up. Last night, I'm laying in bed for hours in a state of panic, trying everything I can to calm down, using cbt, positive talk, etc. None of it is working and I start to think that I'll never sleep and won't be able to get to this appt. So I'm laying there thinking "why am I so panicked about
this", it's a 5 minute drive about
a 5 minute appt. and then 5 mins home. Seems pretty easy.
Then I think back to two months ago when I really wanted to go the MN state fair, it's one of the loves of my life to go, and it has sentimental ties as it was something that as a family we did every year and since my dad worked so much and he always took the whole day off to go to the fair with us it was a huge treat! Since he passed, we have continued to go and it's really important to me. So we made plans to go to the fair the end of August, which is a 35 minute drive, then we spend 8-10 hours there and then the 35 minute drive home in the dark.
So last night I'm thinking about the night before going to the fair, and that I wasn't panicked that night, I went to bed and right to sleep, got up the next morning and felt great, got ready and we left (and spent 9 hours there having a ball). So anyway, while I'm thinking about that it all of a sudden dawned on me that it was all in the way I was perceiving these two events. The fair is fun, I wanted to go desperately and always enjoyed it. The appointment is something I dread, don't want to go to and just like to have it over with. So, I started to change my thinking. I thought, geez if I can get all the way to the fair, I can definitely go five minutes to the appointment! It's only five minutes once I get there, and I like my doctor, he's really nice and it will be nice to see him again, and chances are that after the appt. I will feel so relaxed that I'll be able to do some shopping. I actually started to get excited about it and bam, the anxiety dissapeared. I fell asleep, woke up this morning with a touch of anxiety, but just re-started the positive thinking and now am feeling great and actually looking forward to getting out of the house today.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I just thought that maybe this could help someone else too. I'm going to see where else this applies in my life as far as what makes me anxious.