Welcome to Healing Well and the A & P Forum. I am so sorry you have been going through this for so long and I feel that your bringing your problem here is a positive step. It is good to be able to talk about your fears and anxiety to a nonjudgemental and caring group of people. You have taken a huge step in trusting us to support you.
Here are some of the thoughts that I have jotted down in response to reading your post.
An overwhelming fear of choking is a more common phobia than you might think. If you suffer from a choking phobia, don't despair; there are several methods you can try to control your phobia.
Reflect on any traumatic events that may have triggered your choking phobia, in your case your choking episode when you were very young.
Tell yourself that you can control your choking phobia. Negate any self-talk that says you are helpless against your problem. Try facing a mirror and repeating positive phrases to yourself such as, "I accept my choking phobia," "I can control my fear," or "There is no reason for me to feel afraid."
Keep a daily journal of your thoughts and feelings. Take special note of any recurring themes, particularly any thoughts or feelings you have when faced with eating, swallowing or any other trigger for your fears.
Cut your food into very small pieces to minimize your mind's association with a particular food and choking. Add foods one at a time, starting with the soft, easy to swallow foods, puddings, soup, pastas. Making sure to get a good balance of all the food groups.
You may want to use some of the high caloric, high protein supplements available readily at any store that sells foods.
Ask your doctor whether anti-anxiety drugs might be indicated. Also you may want to consider therapy to help you learn to deal with your anxiety re choking.
One more thought would be to consult a Gastroenterologist re the swallowing problem. A doctor can effectively distinguish among them with a thorough medical history, physical exam, and testing.
Please know we care and you have every right to be anxious about this problem so let us help you sort it out.
Again a Warm Welcome.
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression
_____________________________________________________"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.”