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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 38
   Posted 10/27/2007 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi all,
Just been in a funk these last few days.  I have OCD and panic attacks.  I have awful thoughts and they seem to haunt me.  Anyhow, I also have extreme nexk pain and it seems on days like today, when it hurts a lot, I just feel like crying.  That leads me to get scared thinking I'm depressed and then I get scared that maybe I don't want to be alive anymore.  The constant cycle of "what ifs" is very difficult.
I was watching Grey's anatomy Thur night.  Great show - but sometimes when they get the mental patients that do weird things, that starts to freak me out (I become afraid I will do those things).  Now, I just want to be normal and watch tv shows.  I can't watch anything scary and this show is a comedy/romance and I don't want to stop watching it cause of this stupid panic attack.
I've been thru this all before.  I've had this for about 8 years now, but when it happens my mind tries to trick me into thinking that this time is worse than all the others or "what if I didn't really feel this bad before"
I'm not on meds.  I'm on enough for a condition called PCOS and I did go thru years of therapy and we reached a plateau.
Most days I am fine.  It's just some days, like today, I feel like I'm in a sad funk and just need to write to others who have had the same feelings.
I do wish none of us had to have anxiety disorders.  My ocd, I have what is known as "pure o" which is just obsessions, and they are awful, disturbing thoughts / images.  I won't watch scary movies, but just seeing a preview can get me into a panic mode.
I wouldn't wish any medical disorder (mental or physical) on anyone.  I still feel overwhelmed at times that this is truly my life (the ocd/panic).  I feel I was raised well, did well in school, have a good job, great family, eat healthy and exercise so I don't understand why this had to happen.  It came on when I was 25 years old and I read about 15 books when it first happened and it seems that is a common age that women begin developing symptoms.
Anyhow, I live my life despite having ocd/panic, but it still sux to have it!
thanks for letting me get this out.


Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 10/27/2007 9:09 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear Laurie

Good Morning.  I suspect your "O" causes you to obsess on the anxiety and the why's of why does it happen and what is causing it?  It never hurts to see your therapist for a recharge of what you have learned just to help you get back into handling the anxiety.

I know many things can trigger our anxiety and most of us don't know what it is.  However, if a certain theme in a television show triggers your thoughts, you may want to skip the show that night. :-) .

You are in good company here in A & P and there is much love and support so know we understand and we are here for you.

Gentle Hugs


Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 1193
   Posted 10/27/2007 9:47 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Laurie,
I am sorry that you are going through all of this - it's not easy.  But some days are bette than others.  Although, I don't know much about OCD, I do know about panic attacks as I also suffer from them as well as anxiety.  It down right sucks and is no fun.  But I am working with a therapist and taking meds and trying to make myself slow down my desire for this to be done and over with now.  I am trying to learn that this is going to take a long time to over come.  But eventually I think I will get there.
Kitt had some great suggestions for you, such as skipping a TV show that you know may upset you if you're already not in a good space.  Maybe going back to your therapist for a little be will helpful for you.  And even though you said you are already on lots of meds for another condition, maybe taking AD for a while won't hurt.  But all of these things are certainly your decision.  Whatever you do, I hope you start feeling better soon.
Please keep posting, as we will do all that we can to help and support you, because we are a family.
Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Mitral Valve Prolapse, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, Social Anxiety and PTSD
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER

A slip of the foot you may soon recover,

but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.

Benjamin Franklin


Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 10/28/2007 2:02 PM (GMT -6)   

I am OCD but about cleaning and checking locks and things in certain Numerical orders ect ....
I have had shows that trigger or will trigger something in me to cause me to start having an a/p mode BUT I do as was suggessted I will change channels or if I have had the chance to see preview I will skip the show for that night

Sometimes we have to give up the lil things like a TV show even IF just for one night ( I love many as well ) to get ourselves on the road to a recovery ........That is the most important thing I believe ...fighting this DD and trying all we can to recover from it step by step.

You could also see the therapist and explain this and ask for ways to find some common ground for you to BE able to watch this show or some type of Techniques.......

IMHO there is always a way we just have to throw it out here and get the input like we do and more times than not we are helped by just one person's post or by something in each post ya know .......

That is why HW is such a great place to come to and vent ask for help and share what is bothering you ......

Take care and be well

Know you are not alone

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