IMHO I feel you may have some anticipatory anxiety going on here.
Common Anticipatory Anxiety Reactions include :
Feelings: anxious, fearful, angry, confused, hopeless, losing control, numb, sad, moody, irritable, guilty.
Behaviors: withdrawal from others or activities, disrupted routines, startle reactions, easily crying
Cognitions: preoccupation with possibility of trauma, concentration difficulties, self-doubt, worry, indecisiveness, memory difficulties
You seem to be worrying excessively about the what ifs? I hope that you will see your physician and get back on a med to help you get your anxiety under control while you work at learning coping skills.
We understand how you feel as each of us has a little bit of each kind of anxiety in our lives at one time or another. I want to see you happy and enjoying life so please talk with your physician.
Keep posting here. There is something comforting about baring your soul to the members of A & P and still being able to be anonymous.
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*