Hey Tammy, I am going through something similar, not cigarettes, but something. ( i dont believe it would be appropriate to say what exactly). But, I know what you mean. I feel the same way. I wonder how I can hate doing something yet I let myself do it anyways. Its like I am 2 people and one is going against the other no matter how hard I try not to.
But, kind of like liquid said, maybe try something to get away from it. For example, my anxiety and stuff gets high, so I paint. My mom asked me, when I showed her my paintings, where I got so many great ideas from. I said, "They aren't ideas....they are feelings."
I don't paint because its fun or whatever, I paint because it is the only way I know how to get my feelings out of my head. I am not a talker. I hate talking, and it is hard for me to talk openly, so I find painting helps express my feelings without words. Although, the people who have seen my paintings just say how awesome they are and how talented I am. But, they totally miss the point. I just paint. I get a feeling and paint it. It works though. And its productive! I take (bad) feelings out of my head, paint them, and everyone enjoys looking at them! Imagine that!
But, what I'm saying is, maybe there is something that can help you like painting helps me. Do something that gets your mind away, that can be productive! Try something new! That helps me, not sure if it would help a smoker, but I have a problem as well, I guess you could say its like an addiction, but it has the same concept so maybe it will work for you too. If not, there are tons of things you can try.
Congrats on quitting though! Thats really great! Just remember everyone slips up sometimes. But, you are strong and if you can do it once, you can do it twice! I am really glad though that you know it is something you dont want to do and you are trying so hard to quit.
Wishing you only the best....
(Disclaimer: Not sure any of my advice is relevant or if it will work for you! )