I have a couple questions about this, as I do have a myspace account, and know what it's all about.
First of all, you say she is 17...how old is your boyfriend?
Does he hide any aspect of their friendship from you? Do you see all the messages, or is he secrative about it?
How long have you been with your boyfriend?
A lot of people have insecurities in relationships, and often times, it's because of ones own insecurities about themselves...are you secure in yourself?
I think you should tell your boyfriend that this myspace friendship is bothersome to you. Explain to him that you feel she may be liking him a bit too much, and it just makes you uneasy. You have to be able to talk in any relationship for it to work, and you also have to be able to trust.
Aside from this myspace thing...do you trust your boyfriend?
Don't argue with him about it, as that will make things worse. Just sit him donw, and explain to him what you are feeling.
As Lyn said though, many couples have friends outside the relationship that are of the opposite sex.
Could you become friends with this girl as well? Would that make you more comfortable?
I know my thoughts are all over the place...and I am sorry, I just had a lot to say about this.
I hope everything works out for you sweetie!
Thank you both for responding.
In response to the above questions: my boyfriend is 24 and I'm 20.
He's not secretive about it at all, but here's the thing- he logs on to that site every single day when he's working away and I wonder who the hell could be so important to send messages to that he can find time to speak to them but often not even send me a single text message. I see him for barely a few hours at a time every weekend because he gets so tired and yet he uses that darned website and talks to this teenage girl.
We've been together 4 months and no, in all honesty I am definitely not secure in myself, so I'm finding it hard to determine whether I should genuinally worry or whether it's just the anxiety playing up and I'm being too paranoid.
Aside from the Myspace thing, we have a lovely relationship (when he actually has the time to see me) and I do trust him. I just don't like this stupid girl sending him comments asking after him as if it's some abnormality if he doesn't talk to her. It probably would help if I were friends with this girl, but from what I've read from her she's a complete idiot and certainly not the sort of person I would ever associate myself with. I don't feel I can talk to him about it because in reality I bet it's just me being over-paranoid, but this girl just makes me so uncomfortable. My boyfriend made comments on one of her photos where she was biting her lip which implied it was something he found sexy, which admittedly was before he met me, but it still bothers me.
I'm just so fed up with getting anxious about this. I'm starting to feel that this relationship just isn't worth the bother what with my anxiety about this issue and the fact he's away constantly. How can it ever progress when I only see him for a few hours each week? I want a normal relationship where we have time for each other and get more serious as other couples do, but right now I feel like a convenient part-time girlfriend who's waiting for him at home for him to call upon whenever it suits him. He says he doesn't like working away and it's the only thing he can do to get some money, but in that case why isn't he even bothering to look for something closer to home anymore? :(
Post Edited (mynameis) : 11/29/2007 11:16:27 AM (GMT-7)