A week of disaster...

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Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 12/9/2007 10:38 PM (GMT -6)   
Before I begin I would like to say that I've never been more in need of shoulders to cry on and support from the HW community.

This week...I've heard of life throwing us curveballs...but this week was ridiculous.

A couple of weeks ago I received word that my boss, who I've thoroughly enjoyed working for, was possibly leaving. I was already a bit anxious about that, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Tuesday morning I found out he was indeed staying, which was great. Wonderful sense of relief.

Thursday evening I learned that a longtime friend of mine was unexpectedly pregnant. She was quite distraught over it and needed to get out for a while to relax, and I was feeling a bit anxious because a big life change or stressful situation like that always causes me to get antsy. We decided to go to a dress rehearsal of a play two of our friends are performing in. It was very silly with a light mood, just what we needed.

I visited my folks after the show and got to their place quite late(about 11:30pm). I realized that my father was still up, which was a bit odd because he usually goes to bed around 10:30 to 11. He got out of bed and came down the hall to see me, telling me we both needed to go down and talk to my mother.

Now the backstory. My mother went in for a hysterectomy just before Thanksgiving. They suspected she might have low-grade cancer of the uteran wall(something that's quite common these days and easily cured with a hysterectomy). Everything went off without a hitch and the surgery was successful and she was making a speedy recovery. During the surgery they removed her entire reproductive system and checked everything out quickly. Everything looked fine.

My mother and father received the official pathology report on Wednesday afternoon. My mother was told a very small tumor was discovered on her right ovary. It was NOT ovarian cancer but an extension of the uteran tumor, which was excellent news, but because they're worried the cancer wasn't completely contained inside the uterus, it was recommended that she undergo chemotherapy treatment to kill any cells that may have started to spread. Upon hearing this she became very depressed because she was just starting to be able to drive around and get out of the house again.

When my parents told me this my heart sank and anxiety probably tripled. I want to be strong for my mother and help her to get through what's probably going to be a VERY tough three months at the beginning of 2008, but I'm so worried about her that I can barely function at the moment. I have made an appointment with my PCP to get me back on my anti-anxiety medication(I haven't needed it since September), and was also given a referral to a therapist.

Simply needed to vent and get some of this off my chest. Two friends came over to my apartment this afternoon to watch the football with me and help me calm down, which was a great relief, but they can't be around all the time. A close friend also stayed the night with me last night and held me while I cried myself to sleep. sad

Thank you all very much for listening and if you've had similar experiences with family members, it would VERY much help to hear about them right now. Reassurance from my mother's doctors and other people she knows who've been through chemo have helped all of us.

panic queen
Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 12/10/2007 12:38 AM (GMT -6)   
 First of all, good for you for taking care of yourself and getting some medication to help you cope thru this for the time being.
  I understand how you are feeling very much. 
 When I first started to have these panic attacks, my mom was dx with a rare type of cervical cancer and it was in the lymph nodes.
 It was so rare, that there were only 18 reported cases of that type in my state. They didn't even know how to treat it.
 I also had two children to care for, one was three and the other a new born who had major colic. My husband was working 12+ hrs a day for his job.
 I was so overwhelmed I didn't know what to do.
 Just breathe......one thing at a time.....remind yourself that you will get thru it... Have faith....
 My mom is a 17 yr cancer survivor, the colic child is the best son...
I hope that this helps.
 Take care of yourself too.
 Panic Queen :-)

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/10/2007 5:38 PM (GMT -6)   


Hello there and wow, you had a right to be anxious.  The news about your Mom was the scariest I know.

Being a nurse I have seen some wonderful miracles and I wish this for your Mom.  Cancer is not always the worse dx so please be reassured that your Mom has a very good chance of survival.

Also it is good that the treatment is available.  THe chemo now days usually goes quite well.  I know of people that have chemo and are right back to work the next day. 

I am sure your Mother is depressed and also scared, very scared.  I would be too as once the word Cancer is spoken, most patients never hear the rest of what the Dr. said that day.

You will do well, just tell yourself that you Can do this and you Will do this for your Mom.  Concentrate on her and in being her strength.  You may have melt downs at home or alone but that too is to be expected.  Anytime we are reminded of our own mortality and that of the people we love it is a wake up call.

Please vent away here all you want.  We are here 24/7.

I wish you peace and I will pray for your Mother and for you.

Gentle Hugs


Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders
*~* Not a mental health professional at all *~*
Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression, GERD, Osteoarthritis
*Wife of a Crohnie*
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 72
   Posted 12/10/2007 6:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Kitt,

You put your finger on a point that my boss mentioned as well today. My boss is a great guy and very understanding; he was actually one of the first people I told and he worked with me to set up vacation time and dependent/sick time if I needed it. He said that his father had had a blood clot just outside his heart which the doctors were saying was extremely serious, and although once they went in and operated and found it wasn't very serious, he told me that it was the scariest two weeks he's ever had to live through. It really slammed home the reality that his parents were mortal and wouldn't be around forever.
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