Hi! I have some anxiety with crohns when it comes to eating out. Obviously my issues stem from different reasons than yours as I am more nervous about getting to the bathroom comfortably. But, I do know that when I am in a new situation and people are new I am more nervous than when I am used to a place or the people. If I were you, I would get a nice outfit that I could afford (no one needs to know it is really from Sears) and go to this fancy shmancy place with my husband for an appetizer or for drinks or for dessert, as soon as possible before the event. Then you will have time to scope the place out and get comfortable there with just you and your husband without spending too much money. Then the night of the event, get there early so you can make sure you have an aisle seat so you are not stuck on the inside of a table where you can't get out. Take seperate cars so if you get really uncomfortable you can leave and your husband can still finish his business engagement. You can always excuse yourself to the bathroom and come back with some excuse "emergency phone call, etc." Have a code your husband knows before hand and don't feel guilty if you do leave. At least you tried. But set yourself a goal... Like for me I will say, I need to make it through the meal and then I can leave if I need to. That way I am not giving in to my anxiety and letting it take over my life. I will suffer through dinner but then if I still feel to anxious and have met my goal I will reward myself by using my excuse and leaving. But I bet if you get to know the place first you will be more comfy, and maybe you can even meet some of the people before hand too!
Just a quick story. My husbands family is wealthy and I was raised middle class. They are not at all snobby but do like to go all out once and awhile. We went to this $200/person dinner dance for new years at a country club with them once. I was super nervous because we had to fly down for the visit and then go to this dinner etc. I bought a $25 dress from Sears that was a discounted prom dress. But, on an adult, it looked like a ball room gown. It matched my husbands tux perfectly. It was black, strapless, and balled out at the bottom. It had a white trim around the top, and one around the bottom. All night people were asking me who my designer was. I just politely said, I'm not sure, I got it on sale lol!!
26 Year old married female. Diagnosed w/ CD 3 years ago, IBS for over 10 years before that, which was probably the CD. Currently on Pentasa 4 pills/4x day, hysociamine prn, nexium, and ortho evra. Good times!!!