Hello, all. It's been a while since I posted here. Right now I'm not in a very good way, though.
I'm not really sure what's going on, but my first symptoms were itching around the face and ears. The last time this happened to me was several years ago, just after I had my final job interview in another city. On the way down there I started with this crazy itching and tightness of the skin. I believe my face even peeled. Strange thing is I had four interviews in total and was sure I'd get the job. I didn't think I was nervous.
I did get the job, as expected. I crashed at a friend's place that night and the next day a bunch of us went out for burgers. It was Saturday. The place we ate these burgers at (a bar) was actually infamous for its kitchen not being sanitary, but I had no idea at the time. After that I left Austin and headed back up the I35 to Dallas/Fort Worth, where I stopped at my mom's for a visit on the way home. At some point on the journey I began to feel quite nauseated. Instead of staying at my mother's that night, I decided to drive all the way back home (another hour). On this leg of the trip was when things got really bad. I became violently ill at 70 mph in a construction zone, where there was no place to pull the car over. This continued the whole way back to my apartment.
At the time I assumed I had food poisoning. It wasn't until two years later that I was diagnosed with A/P, but looking back on it, I'm kind of thinking that getting that job really drove it home that I was going to have to move, and move in a big hurry. Not only that I'd had to share an efficiency with a friend until I found a place for my own, and work in an office environment for the first time in years. A lot was expected of me from my employer, too, of course. I think all of this may have culminated into my first panic attack or anxiety episode but am not sure about
Fast forward to tonight.
I've once again changed careers and have moved back to Dallas. I'm on medication now and things have been going well, although I've been extremely busy with work for the past six weeks or so. I also do NOT like holidays. Never have. Anyway, tomorrow I have a long work day on the road planned and without coming home I'm driving to visit my dad and step mother for a couple days. They live about
2.5 hours from where I'll be at the end of my workday tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to that. My dad is also my boss, and while I've obviously reconciled with him there will be some things that will never be gotten over. Then, after that, I will drive back to Fort Worth for a couple of days to spend time with my Mother for Christmas. I'll be away from home for a total of five days. So tonight I've been planning tomorrow's work day, packing, doing laundry, washing dishes, etc. This is after a long workday today. In fact, it seems like if I'm awake I'm either working or about
to work or just got done working. No exaggeration. It's not all that stressful but it does get tiring.
To make a long story short, tonight I got the itchy head again. Itchy scalp, itchy cheeks, burning ears. My skin feels tight all over my face and is noticeably red. Anxiety is high in spite of my Klonopin.
I guess that I'm worried this will be 2003 all over again. I get out on the road tomorrow and start puking my guts out in the middle of nowhere, miles away from anyone who can help. I normally do not ask for such support, but please tell me that this is not going to turn really bad. Possibly my hygiene just hasn't been good enough; I do take a shower daily but sometimes I'm in such a rush I know I don't really get clean enough.
BRAINFRIENDENEMY is no longer an A/P blog:www.brainfriendenemy.com/
BRAINFRIENDENEMY2 is now an A/P blog, though:www.brainfriendenemy2.wordpress.com