Anxious and almost crazy.

Diseases & Conditions Depression
1
This is actually an anxiety issue but left alone, my anxiety becomes so heavy it turns into a deep depression, plus I know you guys here alot better.
 
I am currently unmedicated, and have been using various methods to keep my anxiety at bay.  One of these is 'keeping busy'.  I am a stay at home mother of three children (4,2 and 1.5)  Feeling increasingly anxious I decided to become a foster parent for  2 boys (3 and 2). A friend of mine begged me to start belly dancing with her, so I did.  In February the boys went home.  Feeling anxious I bought a Newfoundland puppy, signed up for french classes (2x per week), swimming classes with my children (2x per week) and two online courses in statistics and writing. Nine days the boys were returned to my care.  I signed them up for swimming lessons too.  So.... 2 children, a giant puppy, swimming lessons, belly dancing and 3 courses later... I'm starting to feel anxious. 
 
I have established a routine where things run like clockwork and the challenge of 5 children under 4 is no longer there.  I feel my anxiety start to grow and I'm getting nervous and a bit scared.  The boys have a baby brother (about 6 months now) in another home and his foster parents are asking him to be transfered.  My husband has been looking at new born babies in supermarkets and suggesting we have another.  Percy my dog is lonely and barks if I leave him in the yard alone.  There is an older Labrador retriever in the paper for free. French classes and belly dancing don't start again till September. I'm going crazy because I want to take this other foster child, have a baby and take another dog only to keep things busy and relieve my anxiety.
 
Where does it end?
 
 
 
 
(also be posted on the anxiety forum)
<!-- Edit -->
2
Gosh honey, I admire you so much. You have got a lot to think about at the moment. So are you saying that taking on more things helps alleviate the anxiety?
In one way it is good that doing so much takes your mind off the anxiety but in another way it isn't as you are not really dealing with the anxiety and are putting it to one side. It would maybe be good to seek some advice from your doctor about how you are feeling and he can give you some advice on outside support such as counselling and possibly some medication to help control your anxiety.

Its hard to advise you on what to do regarding fostering, having another baby and taking on another dog as that is something that will take a great deal of thought and consideration. Think about how you feel in yourself and how stable your anxiety is.
I hope you come to the right decisions. We are always here to support and listen to you so please post at any time.

I do admore you for everything you do - you must be a wonderful mother. There should be more people like you in the world.

take care

Victoria

cherish all your happy moments....they make a fine cushion for old age

3
That's interesting ate, bipolar is something I've never considered. I do have a psychologist, but he keeps alot to himself. He has never officially diagnosed me with anything. I know I am prone to deep depression and that I have a lot of anxiety. I always thought that bipolar was a swing from extreme happiness, to extreme sadness. Happy and Sad are not feelings I have. I have anxiety that increases until it explodes leaving an empty, souless depression.
4
Good luck with the leg shaving ate.