Just want to vent.
My son tried to committ suicide last night with an overdose of pills. He's been very depressed lately. Maybe part of the reason is b/c I've been riding his case so much lately.
The ambulance just left, my wife went with him.
As you know, we've been having a lot of trouble with him lately.
A bipolar family member is very very hard on the rest of the family.
See my attached post from April/05
Jo warned me that this might happen
I'm a father of a bi-polar 19 year old and this is driving me crazy. Is there anybody out there that might have some ideas on how I can cope with this before I go completely nuts?
My teenage son (Bryan) is 19yrs old, was diagnosed with manic depression when he was 12. He's been going in and out of phases every season change.
We have been to all kinds of doctors and all kinds of meds have been perscribed but now he seems to be getting worse.
We have been to all kinds of doctors and all kinds of meds have been perscribed but now he seems to be getting worse.
The Bipolar meds that my son is taking are:
1) Risperidone - 1 mg @ bedtime.
2) Divalproex - 1mg @ bedtime.
3) Lorazepam - 0.5 mg @ bedtime periodically or if needed to help with sleep.
4) Benztropine Mesylate - 2mg if side effects occur such as stiff neck or trembling.
The problem is, he thinks that things like drinking or smoking pot or coke won't affect him but instead it has a more potent effect on him due to his psycotic condition. He talks like an L.A. gangster and stays out all night, goes to his p/t job WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT(It's just a matter of time before he gets fired) and uses very abusive language with his family. He thinks he's superman and these things won't bother him (BUT HE CAN'T SEE IT) and as a result, he refuses to take his medication ON A CONSISTANT BASIS and because of his age (19) we can't force him.
He had the condition under control for the previous 2 years because I was monitoring his meds but as soon as he turned 19 he started hanging with the wrong people and I lost control of him. Now his Bipolar has once again showed it's ugly face. (you can't cure bipolar-only control it with meds)
1) Risperidone - 1 mg @ bedtime.
2) Divalproex - 1mg @ bedtime.
3) Lorazepam - 0.5 mg @ bedtime periodically or if needed to help with sleep.
4) Benztropine Mesylate - 2mg if side effects occur such as stiff neck or trembling.
The problem is, he thinks that things like drinking or smoking pot or coke won't affect him but instead it has a more potent effect on him due to his psycotic condition. He talks like an L.A. gangster and stays out all night, goes to his p/t job WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT(It's just a matter of time before he gets fired) and uses very abusive language with his family. He thinks he's superman and these things won't bother him (BUT HE CAN'T SEE IT) and as a result, he refuses to take his medication ON A CONSISTANT BASIS and because of his age (19) we can't force him.
He had the condition under control for the previous 2 years because I was monitoring his meds but as soon as he turned 19 he started hanging with the wrong people and I lost control of him. Now his Bipolar has once again showed it's ugly face. (you can't cure bipolar-only control it with meds)
He's getting Disabiliy Insurance and working p/t but we can't figure out where all his money is going.
In June, 2002, his manic phase peeked.....to the point where he told his boss to f-off, (then he got fired) dropped out of school, beat the crap out of some kid at his previous school so bad that he had to be hosbitalized, and became very violent at home and destructive and threatened and assulted his parents. On top of all this he was also hooked on smoking pot, (normally you don't get addicted to it but since he was stoned all the time, he became dependant on it) not just once in a while but he was always high, even smoked it in his room. He even stole things from the house to sell to get money to support his habit. He stayed up all night most nights. Now he's never home.
I've totally lost control of him to the point where I feel like a stranger in my own house and sometimes, I'm even afraid to come home from work.
The police were called and he ended up in the hosp. for the whole month of July 2002 so he could be monitored and detoxed.
Since he's been at home, he totally went the other way.
He wouldn't leave the house.No social life at all.
In June, 2002, his manic phase peeked.....to the point where he told his boss to f-off, (then he got fired) dropped out of school, beat the crap out of some kid at his previous school so bad that he had to be hosbitalized, and became very violent at home and destructive and threatened and assulted his parents. On top of all this he was also hooked on smoking pot, (normally you don't get addicted to it but since he was stoned all the time, he became dependant on it) not just once in a while but he was always high, even smoked it in his room. He even stole things from the house to sell to get money to support his habit. He stayed up all night most nights. Now he's never home.
I've totally lost control of him to the point where I feel like a stranger in my own house and sometimes, I'm even afraid to come home from work.
The police were called and he ended up in the hosp. for the whole month of July 2002 so he could be monitored and detoxed.
Since he's been at home, he totally went the other way.
He wouldn't leave the house.No social life at all.
By the time he was 12 he had 23 sports trophies for soccer, baseball and football. He loved sports, and dreamed of going to a U.S. College (We're from Canada) on a football scholarship and at the rate he was going that goal seemed reachable. But what concerns me the most:
1) all he does is sleep til 1 or 1:30, (when he is home, if I try to wake him up for work, he threatens me)loads up on junk food (won't eat his meals) in front of the TV . He has no interest in things that most teenagers do like cars, driving, going to concerts etc. It's very frustrating for my wife and I. It bothers her so much that she's had to go on anti-deprssants.
2) with his constant eating of junk all day, the weight gain is incredible, 100 lbs in 8 months. He thinks it's funny and doesn't care about his health.
3) Lost interest in everything NO AMBITION AT ALL.
1) all he does is sleep til 1 or 1:30, (when he is home, if I try to wake him up for work, he threatens me)loads up on junk food (won't eat his meals) in front of the TV . He has no interest in things that most teenagers do like cars, driving, going to concerts etc. It's very frustrating for my wife and I. It bothers her so much that she's had to go on anti-deprssants.
2) with his constant eating of junk all day, the weight gain is incredible, 100 lbs in 8 months. He thinks it's funny and doesn't care about his health.
3) Lost interest in everything NO AMBITION AT ALL.
4) He has become very very very annoying and loves to get on peoples nerves (he even has admitted that to doctors and says it gives him a rush) because it's his way of getting attention.
5) Very gross and rude behaviour .He acts like he's 9 and seems to be regressing and not maturing.
My wife and I have enroled him in a school for kids with special needs but he never goes. He seems to have developed Attention Deficite Disorder (ADD) and loses interest in everything.
Everybody is trying to help him but he won't help himself.
Everybody is trying to help him but he won't help himself.
Randy
Diagnosed with epilepsy and ulcerative colitis in 1979,
Been on meds ever since.
275mg-dilantin/day
120mg-pheonobarb/day
3,000mg-Mesasol/day
20mg-Celexa/day
Hi Randy,
I'm so sorry about what happened to your son last night, as well as what you've been coping with through his own mental illness and choices. Please keep us updated on your situation. Venting is definitely a good way to help relieve some of the frustration and sadness you must be feeling.
Hi Randy,
What a terrible thing to have happened. BUT you cannot take the responsibility for his actions. He is no longer a child, but a man. Granted he is ill, but you were "riding his case" because you care. My oldest daughter is 23 and I went through the wringer with her. It took years before I could absolve myself of the blame for her mistakes.
Once he's stable, and maybe once he is he'll want to stay that way, he'll realize that you were on his case out of love. Just desperate to have your son back. I hope he gets the help he needs.
You and your family will be in my prayers
Ellie
What a terrible thing to have happened. BUT you cannot take the responsibility for his actions. He is no longer a child, but a man. Granted he is ill, but you were "riding his case" because you care. My oldest daughter is 23 and I went through the wringer with her. It took years before I could absolve myself of the blame for her mistakes.
Once he's stable, and maybe once he is he'll want to stay that way, he'll realize that you were on his case out of love. Just desperate to have your son back. I hope he gets the help he needs.
You and your family will be in my prayers
Ellie
Dear Randy:
I am speechless. First, I am so sorry that bipolar has caused such distress in your family (and I think distress is putting it mildly). I am also very sorry that your son tried to commit suicide...so sad for everyone. Having my mother attempt suicide, and having been suicidal for many years myself, I can somewhat comprehend the pain on all sides.
You're so right, BP never goes away, it is managed. Maybe after the shock of this has worn off we can all chat about what may happen next...
Take care Randy.
Shannon
Wow very sorry to hear what you are going through. Honestly I don't know any of the meds he is on. Some i never heard of, and I myself have been on alot. Does a pdoc treat him? If so are they up to date with the current meds? His mg seem to be at very low doses. Especially with his behaviors and moods. I personally would take him back to the doc, and try a different med mix. Meds constantly should be readjusted to reach stability. It doesn't seem that these are helping. I don't mean to sound forward, but really wanting to help. I have done alot your son has at his age, scary looking back now. Sometimes higher mg's help to get a person semi stable and can always be reduced. Willl he go and take his meds regularly? Alcohol and drugs at the time , seem to make you feel better at the moment, but even after coming down and the days that follow , the mood is affected, usually to a more depressed state. Only talking by experience here. Anytime you need to vent , we will listen. I am not great about advice, but have been where he is. Sorry, Ncikie
Hi Randy
I am so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. I have to say I agree with Ellie, you can't blame yourself. I hope he is going to be okay.
Sooblue
I am so sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. I have to say I agree with Ellie, you can't blame yourself. I hope he is going to be okay.
Sooblue
Randy, I am so sorry to hear about your Son's attempted suicide. I, myself, attemped twice - the first time landing me in the ICU for 4 days on a Ventilator - I know the pain your Son must be going through.
Please know, though, that anyone "riding him" is NOT the reason he attempted to do this! I, along with many others, do this to escape the emotional pain that they feel - not to get back at a family member. It is a deep, dark place to be, and suicide seems to be the only way out.
I wish I could offer some magic miracle for you, but being BiPolar is a day to day struggle - often times with every day bringing on different emotions and feelings.
Has your Son ever been on Lithium or Lamictal? That MIGHT be a place to start - keep us posted - we all have been there - and we all care!
deb