I understand that there are many women reading these posts who are in an abusive relationship. I highly recommend the following book:
"Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them: Breaking the Cycle of Physical and Emotional Abuse by Paul Hegstrom"
It has the effect of opening the woman's eyes to the fact that it is NOT her fault. It shows how the man came into the relationship with huge scars from childhood. AND it offers some great suggestions to the man AND the woman for getting help.
Women abuse men also. Men are raised not to hit women but women hit men all the time in anger knowing the man won't hit back. Isn't that physical abuse? If a man protects himself he will no doubt be the villian or go to jail if the police are involved. What about verbal and emotional abuse? I think women are guilty of these abuses quite often but are never discussed. I admit I was both physically and mentally abused by my ex wife. She knew I was vulnerable due to my chronic illness and I was a nice guy who would never fight back due to my gentle christian nature. Sorry to hijack the thread but it goes both ways the only difference is men aren't allowed to talk about it.
This wasn't intended to be one-sided. But it does pertain to abusive men and women who allow that behavior. It might be possible to work the book in a role reversal. The author, himself, was an abusive husband and he speaks from his own experience and then from extensive study that he has conducted. . . and programs that actually work. The book turns out to have such useful programs suggested that some domestic violence courts are using the author's programs to help these men (who really DO want help).
I'm also sorry that you were abused. . . and I agree that some women can be such scornful creatures that the emotional abuse they inflict is worse than any physical abuse.
There may be some resource available on the topic of women abusing men in the Depression Resources. I haven't noticed any in particular . . . but might be worth a peek. It is the second topic in the forum.