Being bp2 & a christion is hard!

melmac · February 25, 2006, 12:19pm

hi my name is melisa. I strugle a lot on making good choises. some times i know i am not in the right fram of mind to make good dissons other times i am not awheir. sory my spellin is bad! is their anyone that can give me advice? sum times I feel

but I know it is wrong. its hard to make good choises when you are all mested up inside.

els · February 25, 2006, 2:12pm

Hi Melisa,

Welcome to Healing Well forum. We are glad to have you and will try to help in any way possible.

There are a lot of people that have Bipolar Disorder that struggle with decision making. Impulse control is a huge factor in this. If you are getting treatment and taking medications for it than you should be able to see some of this level off. It is hard to give advice without more specific details on what you are going through.

~elisha

melmac · February 26, 2006, 8:10am

Thank you for repling! I am on my 5th day on lamictal. The Pdoc has tried me on 3 other medicens but they didn't work. Sence I first got married (12-05-1997) I was in a car actsident (12-31-1997) after I recoverd I got pregnet(litte girl). Three or three&half years later my son (from a prier marrige) 12 years old at the time molested my daugter. Sence then he has received treatment. In Agust of last year I went to a new Pdocter. Sortly after is when he told me I was bipoler2. Now I look back I see I was showing signs of bipoler sortly after my car actsident. The docters I had befor first said I had postpardem blues then I was told I had major deperestion. Iwas so doped up I wasn't there for my kids like a mom is suppot to be. I went off all meds I new the risk but I thought it was werth the risk. I wanted to be a mom to my kids again. My son has only talked to me once sence he has been out of treatment. I just did get every thing taken care of ,regarding the bankrupsy we just went through. Know I am scedguald for sergery on my right shoulder (to clean up all of the bursideis)on thursday 3-2-06. melisa

els · February 26, 2006, 1:44pm

That is quite a lot to go through. I am glad that you are trying medications again as you cant control bipolar disorder on your own. I think that you will find that eventually after you get adjusted to your new medications (hopefully they will work for you) that your quality of life will be so much better. Much like us that have depression and finally get on medications for it, you kinda of wonder what took me so long to do it. You know what I mean? Your son may be angry with you for putting him in treatment but know that you protected your daughter that is the number one thing. That situation must of been so difficult for you. Hopefully he will put aside his anger and realize that. Good luck to you on your surgery. My thoughts are with you.

~elisha

melmac · February 27, 2006, 12:40am

Thank you for your reply! It is dificult. I love my son. The thing is the courts are the ones that put him there. I felt it was best for him anyway. He probely is angery at me. You know God did teache me something through this though. (I as a child had been molested many times by differint people & was raped by my ex husband. I said to my self if that ever happened to my childeren I would KILL that person! When it was my son. I relized I couldn't do that becase I love him! ) God teached me that we are all related through him & if I can't hurt my own flesh and blood then I can't hurt my brother or sisters in christ. Thank you for your best wishes on the surgery!

melmac · February 28, 2006, 11:14am

I don't know what to say or how to say it ,because every thing is conneted, every thing is black or white. I feel that every thing is coneted. we are mently ill or not. we are physicly healthy or not. we believe in --- or ---s. Its hard to talk about one whith out talking about the other!

The only thing that is not black or white is how we react to things in are life. The things in my have dron me closer to the one I love.

Its hard to talk to people about what they don't know or understand.