Hi Reesa Shea,
You got me thinking about what lies ahead for me. I'm currently covered under my boyfriends benefits because we live together therefore we are common law in
So I completly understand that you want to deny the whole thing because I have been myself but denial isn't going to get us anywhere! I understand your frustrations with your family but it sounds like they are trying to be supportive and help you out in anyway they can whether it be calling around for you or backing you up financially when you need it. But when you are in our position and you feel low about yourself because you even have a disorder to begin with and your not "normal" (what ever that is!
) you tend to feel guilty and/or ashamed to accept/recieve help from others that you may not have needed before. I think you should try to embrace the support your family is giving/offering you and although they will never understand what it is like to walk in our shoes they will always be there to help us walk! That's how I look at it anyway. I also want nothing more than to go off my med's but I've read that-hmmm maybe it's just easier to quote:
"If a person is well for a long time, does that mean medication is no longer needed? No, it is possible that the inllness has entered into a quiet period. Or it may imply that the medication is working at preventing symptoms. If the person then stops the treatment, the risk of relapse is high: there is more than an 80 percent risk of relapse within two years. Relapse may occur even after many years of stability."
Sigh!
This makes me wonder if I'll be on med's for the rest of my life although once I am doing well for a long period of time I am definetly going to try weaning off my med's and see how I do. I'll take the risk but accept the fact that if I don't do well without them I'm a lifer!
I am fortunate to have a very supportive family and early on they made it very clear to me not to feel bad about relying on them for anything because that is what family is for. My families dynamic is a little differnet because we lost a sister to suicide and after I was diagnosed a little after a year and a half ago now we realize that she was BP as well but she had a terrible experience at the hospital she was hospitalized at and got a horrible doctor that criticized her instead of helping her. She passed away over 10 years ago and medication/the mental health industry was completely different back then. So as you can imagine my family has rallied around me and has been extra supportive because of our family history. I am so thankful I found HW though because there is a lot I've gone through since I was diagnosed that I prefer to not discuss with my family because I don't want them to worry about me.
As for giving you advice regarding your insurance dilemma I'm kind of at a loss because things are different in Canada and I'm assuming you're from the U.S. Although I have coverage under my boyfriends plan at the moment when I am done school and get a job in my field I'm sure I will be offered the same benefits package that the rest of the employee's have with no questions about my medical history being asked. I'm not sure if companies in the states operate differently and I know it depends on the company. Since you are still a student hopefully when you enter your career you find a job that provides you with good benefits. I know that doesn't solve your insurance dilemma for the time being but hopefully that gives you some hope for the future
For the time being I think you should accept the financial support your family is offering you because it will definetly be a challenge to find an insurance company that will give you coverage with the knowledge that you're BP. It is sad but true!
It's really unfair as well! I took a cognitive behavioural therapy course after I was discharged from the hospital and they had dedicated a whole class to discussing the injustice of how people with mental illnesses are treated/viewed and the major topic was "Insurance Companies!" I do sympathies with what you're going through at the momment because when I found out I had been laid off I nearly had a heart attack. I thought I was going to lose my longterm dis. coverage as well but I only lost my benefits and if I didn't have my boyfirend I would have been in your boat and would have had no choice but to accept help from my family because I definelty could not afford my treatment myself. The only other advice I can give is to maybe check with your local hospitals mental health unit if they can put you in contact with a social worker or inform you of any programs that might provide some sort of assistance. Like Ashley C said maybe you can get samples from a few different sources. Either way I wish you the best of luck and I hope this matter is resolved for you soon so you can concentrate on your up coming wedding. Hugs
Emily a.k.a OhSoSad
You can try contacting the company who makes the medication you need, sometimes they offer free medication for those of us who cant afford it. Give it a try, what can you lose.
Chapstick.