BLUE

Diseases & Conditions Depression
1
Since getting out of the hospital I've been on an up and down merry-go-round.  Have been trying to figure out the problem.  Don't seem to have anything stressful or out of the ordinary going on.  Yet the few mornings I am waking with an incrediable sense of saddness. My thoughts are somewhere in the back ground but I can't seem to get them focused.  I've been getting lots of sleep, yet I'm as tired as when I wasn't getting sleep.  I should be looking forward to the weekend and my biggest fear is that I won't get out bed.
Any suggestions how to get out of this saddness. To help keep me awake and focused.
 
Wisdom eyes
2
Thanks atedogs, I do pray. Just at the moment I am ready to jump out of my skin and feel like nobody truly cares. I think I'm getting to the point I just don't care.
3
When it comes to getting out of bed in the morning (a big problem for me at times) I find putting my alarm clock on for the same time every morning helps, even if I haven't slept much. Its easier to focus and get motivated when I'm up earlier.
4
Thanks Honehe. I generally do get up early every morning, but on occasion when things get to tense for me, I will pop some pills just to really sleep and on the wekend I will want to stay put. My body won't let me. But have been having a very hard time staying focused for long periods of time.
5
Wisdom, just wondering what you are doing to take care of yoruself. It is difficult to offer help when I have little idea if you are in counseling, on drug therapy, etc. Please give a little more info about your situation so we can truly understand where you are and what we have done in the past to face similar circumstances.

We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

 
Randy

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Dx'd with Crohn's at age 12. Symptoms since age 5.

Learning to live with this Disease rather than be its victim after 40 years.

6

I am someone who has battled with depression for most of my life.  Right now I am on wellbutrin and celexa.  I am seeing a new therapist that I started before I went into the hospital.  I hit rock bottom while in the hospital and had I the opportunity, I would have tried to take my life.  When I came out, I was in a better place and thought I was going to be fine.  My problem with this particular episode of depression, is that it is not like any I have experienced before.  This time I started cutting, I have doing a lot of shaking and I am at constant battle to quiet my mind.  Yes I know lots of ways to help myself,  they just aren't working as well as they have in the past.  I rarely needed xanax in the past and now I seem to need it at least once a day.  My mood shifts can be swift or creep up on me.

My therapist thinks I am a good student and very knowledgeable of depression.  I have been told I am wise.  When I have full control of my thoughts I can be of great help to others.  I'm a problem solver for everyone else.  I just am not good at taking my own advise or at taking care of myself.  But in the past I could tell you the source of my depression or what was a trigger.  For the first time I have no answers.  That's what scares me.

7

Hi ya wisdom,  I am in the same boat as you...I have a BS in psychology working on masters now and I worked in the mental health field for over 11 years.  My counselor and psychiatrist always look at me as if I should have all the answers to "helping" myself, but I cant.  I would if I knew how.  Knowing what to do and incorporating them are two separate things, and depression is a very powerful disorder.

From what you have listed in you post it really sounds to me as if you need to either call your doctor ASAP or go back to the hospital.  Shaking is not good and can be a side effect of your medications, and if your cutting, which it seems like that is something new?, then this can lead to more self harm issues.  It could be that the medication regime your on just isnt right for you or isnt working as it should and needs adjusted.  But please dont wait another day suffering like this...call your doctor.  Please keep us posted....


 

8

Thanks for your reply.  I am unfortunately a very stubborn person and when I know I need to work through something, I do just that.  My pdoc just got back from vacation and won't see him until the first of August.  I know I could call him and we could talk.  I will if I think I'm about to harmful to myself.  There is a part of me that recognizes that I left the hospital  a little too soon as far as working out my meds.  But I have things that I need to get done and people who are counting on me.  So stiff upper lip and all that and try to get through this period the best way I know how.  Posting on these boards are a help.  the only problem with the shaking is it makes's it very hard to type.

Wisdom