Child's Death

Diseases & Conditions Depression
1
Hello
 
I lost my 15 year old son in May of last year in a car accident. I tried to avoid anti-depressants but finally gave in to 20 mg of prozac a day. The prozac has helped my anxiety tremendously. Yesterday would have been Chriis' 16th birthday and I am so depressed I can barely function all I do is think about him. I had a dream last night that he was 5 years old again and I was hugging him and crying knowing the minute I let go he would be gone.
 
I got in a huge fight with my husband Chris' Step Dad) last night and kicked him out of the bedroom. My daughter who is eleven I also got mad at her and made her go to bed earlier than usual because she was talking back to me. I can't take it any more its all of a sudden becoming more and more unbearable. All I want is to have my baby back I miss him so much....What is wrong with me.....
 
Marsha
Chris' Mom
www.christopherdavidsnyder.com
2

Hi Marsha,

I wasn't going to post a reply because I don't have the faintest idea what you're going through or what to say to help.  I'm mourning a loss as well, although it would do us both an injustice to compare.  I know how little I'm greiving, over the loss of a long term relationship, so I can only imagine what it feels like to lose someone to death.  I just want to say I'm sorry and I wish you didn't have to go through this.  I wish you still had your son in physical form, but I hope you feel his spirit.

Have you thought about grief counseling?  I would imagine that such a traumatic event would be life altering.  You needn't be so hard on yourself to be a certain way.  No one grieves the same way and no one deals with loss the same way.  A therapist might help you, in the very least, learn to cope with your son's death.  I sincerely wish you the very best and am sending you positive energy and love.

 

boo

"Patience is a waste of time"

3

Thank you Boo

I feel like pulling my hair out of my head and screaming right now.

I think you are right I need counseling. They say it would get easier as time goes on but it does not it only gets worse because the shock wears off and reality sets in.

It is all so unreal and unfair. You are not suppose to bury your children they are suppose to bury you.

Again thanks for listening.

Marsha

4
Hi Skooby,
When I was 11, my 14 year old brother was killed on Halloween in a car accident. I also lost a 3 day old baby. It does get better. Everyone is different and healing times vary. I never had grief counseling, I wish that I had. My son would have been 26 this June. I have a 27 year old son and a 23 year old daughter but there will always be that hole in my heart.
Talk about it, let yourself cry and remember. Write about him, write TO him. Remember that he is always with you.
Take care . . .I hope you find the help and the comfort you needd

Peace,

Sadsunshine
5
Big hugs to you across the ocean, my dear friend.
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skooby,  I cant even imagine what you are going through.  I dont have children and have pretty much faced the fact that I wont at the ripe old age of 32.  I just wanted to say that we are here for you anytime........

~elisha

7
We have a great local program called KinderMourn. They help people deal with the loss of a child no matter how old they are. I wish you the best.
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Ohhh, Skooby. I wish there was a way to take your pain away. Please, please seek counseling. ((((((((((Skooby)))))))). I believe that Chris is in a better place, that he is with God. My heart is full of love for you and your family. I am so sorry for this burden you carry. May God bless you with healing and mercy.
9
Elisha,
      You're not to old to have kids. I was 39yrs old. I'm now near 42 this month. :-)
10
I'm really sorry.... And I don't think there's anything that I can say to make you feel better. All I can say is... If you're catholic, you should pray, being close to God and praying for him might make you have some hope in your heart. And I know these words won't take your pain away, but he's going to be ok, he's going to be in a marvelous place. Please come to this forum though whenever you need someone to hear you.

Post Edited (irene17) : 6/25/2006 2:12:59 AM (GMT-6)

11

Marsha,

I'm so sorry for your tragic loss of your son. There will always be times, but espescially the anniversary of the accident and particluarly holidays and his birthday that will be very emotional for you.

Maybe you could sit down with your family and tell them how hard it is for you and they could talk about how it is for them. All of you come up with some ideas for comforting each other and getting through those times when they occur. Talk about Chris during those times and talk about how you each miss him. Remember him and allow your grief and share and comfort each other.

You miss him; you'll remember him always. These times of grief and depression will be there but they will get better--easier, less painful, and less frequent.

My heart goes out to you,

Nanse