In January My husband had a serious fall That resulted in a bad brain injury. Then resulting neck surgery this summer. We’re elderly and have both been experiencing what I consider to be fairly normal memory loss, but after his surgery he has been going downhill at an accelerating rate. He’s scheduled for neuropsych testing in a couple of weeks. He has a speech therapist who comes a couple of times a week to help with balance & other problems and she told me that since June his memory is getting much worse. I had to agree.
I forced him to retire in October and we moved his office home but he spends all day in his home office working under the supervision of a fellow attorney. He has made some very serious financial choices with his business. I hear him yelling on the phone, he hells at people who dare to walk on our grass, he acts huffy with me, he isn’t bathing very often, is becoming incontinent and the other day I caught him using my hair dryer to dry the urine in his jeans - while he was wearing them. I’ll tell him something and in two minutes he won’t remember what I asked.
I know depression causes similar changes and he’s definitely depressed. But I feel this is more. He’s under dr. ordered quarantine because he has a procedure coming up, yet every day he comes & tells me that he’s going to run an errand. He can’t remember that he’s supposed to stay at home.
I guess I’d like feedback from those of you who have experience with this journey. Thanks.
I'm guessing you already know you need to read up on neuropsychic testing and what the tests will tell you.
I need to do this. The fact that I haven’t thought of doing so is a testament to my advanced years.
I’m back after a second round of neuropsych testing for both of us. My husband has Alzheimer’s and my results were normal but showed a high level of depression and anxiety. We’re rocking along but I already see that I’m going to have problems with his kids, which is nothing new. I have a feeling that I’m going to need all of you in this forum to help me deal with the challenges we are facing.
Last week my hubby told me that he thinks he needs to be in assisted living & we talked about it at length. He wants to be part of the decision making process which I think is pretty insightful on his part. Since then I visited a retirement facility and found what I think could be a good solution for both of us - and our dog. I spoke with my stepdaughter about it and she freaked out. She thinks I’m abandoning her dad and that he’ll hate it, etc. She and her brother are unwilling to help but expect me to handle everything to their liking. I’m sure this is not new in situations like mine. Arg!
Last week my hubby told me that he thinks he needs to be in assisted living & we talked about it at length. He wants to be part of the decision making process which I think is pretty insightful on his part. Since then I visited a retirement facility and found what I think could be a good solution for both of us - and our dog. I spoke with my stepdaughter about it and she freaked out. She thinks I’m abandoning her dad and that he’ll hate it, etc. She and her brother are unwilling to help but expect me to handle everything to their liking. I’m sure this is not new in situations like mine. Arg!
Keep in mind that assisted living place do Only that.. They assist him to live. They don't lock the doors....so that everyone is free to come and go. If that isn't a problem now, it probably will be in the near future. The next step is a Memory Care aka Full Lock Down facility.
My sister took our dad to look at several places... They would have lunch or diner and check the places out. They picked one and a few days later dad was ready to get out there... He couldn't help but notice the place was full of OLD People.
Tell the kids to drop dead. Better yet, tell them you need $$$ <insert large dollar amount here>.... from both of them.
My sister took our dad to look at several places... They would have lunch or diner and check the places out. They picked one and a few days later dad was ready to get out there... He couldn't help but notice the place was full of OLD People.
Tell the kids to drop dead. Better yet, tell them you need $$$ <insert large dollar amount here>.... from both of them.
Hahaha. That’s funny. All they’ve ever done is cause problems for their dad.
Hopefully you have power of attorney and a written will etc. The more you have the less will happen when the vultures start circling.
Driving with Alzheimer’s. Yesterday my husband drove up to our local drivers Ed school, that is state certified, took a test, passed it, and now has a certificate from them that states he’s able to drive. I’m not convinced that he is. We had a meeting yesterday with a company that provides home health care & he doesn’t think he needs that (maybe he doesn’t but i sure do!). Would his alzheimers diagnosis void our car insurance?
My dad drove longer than he should have and we're lucky no one was hurt. He too was certain he could pass any test and was a better driver then we are etc...
He'd normally just go to the store and or get lottery tickets.... Then came the day a nice manager of a gas station called us. She had taken his keys away from him and found my sisters phone number... He was 25 miles away from home and was apparently wanting to look at tall buildings and got lost and didn't know where he was.
We took his keys away that day and moved his car away from his apartment. The good news is that he half way forgot he had a car.
You cant reason with a person that has Alzheimer’s. Their mind turns to mush and is like a two year old.... And you have to treat him accordingly.
He'd normally just go to the store and or get lottery tickets.... Then came the day a nice manager of a gas station called us. She had taken his keys away from him and found my sisters phone number... He was 25 miles away from home and was apparently wanting to look at tall buildings and got lost and didn't know where he was.
We took his keys away that day and moved his car away from his apartment. The good news is that he half way forgot he had a car.
You cant reason with a person that has Alzheimer’s. Their mind turns to mush and is like a two year old.... And you have to treat him accordingly.
Thanks Steve. He’s trying so hard to hold onto control even though he’s slipping. He’s in a bad mood all the times and wants to dominate me and everyone else he encounters. I know he can’t control any of this, but I’m living one hour at a time and doing better this week than last. our relationship was on the rocks before his memory started failing. I have found a good home health situation that I like and while I’ve been trying to include him in decisions, I realize the futility of that because he’s not in a place where he understands so I’ve decided to go ahead and hire someone to come in and help me whether he likes it or not.
You need to look up the laws in your state about someone being diagnosed with dementia, each state is different. You asked about your automobile insurance, you need to contact them they can advise you on coverage.
Susie
Moderator in Chronic Pain & Psoriasis Forums
Susie
Moderator in Chronic Pain & Psoriasis Forums
Thanks Susie. That’s an excellent suggestion.