Hello everyone, I am new to this site. I have long term depression or you can call it dysthymia. I have been battling depression since I was 8yrs old. For the last 6 months I have been experiencing my lows and what makes it worse i get depressed even more b/c i am in my down period b/c i dont like my kids to see me like that. Nothing excites me, nothing makes me happy, i dont like to be with my friends b/c i have to act like i enjoy being around them. I am in a constant battle with my dad, whom i used to be close too. I also do not care to be in a relationship with anyone, i still care for my ex. We have been separated for about 3 yrs and he is now currently serving a 3yr sentence in prison. Before he relapsed with drugs, I remember being happy and I was able to be happy with my family.
I dont understand why its so hard for me to be happy with what i have, like having healthy kids, a nice home, financially stable, a good job. Its hard for me to smile, everyday as soon as i wake up and through out the day all i can think about is going back home to sleep again, i wish i can sleep my life away or at least sleep until i can wake up being happy.
Im sure some of you are thinking have i taken meds, i have taken almost everything, the best thing for me is seeing my therapist. I have to learn how to cope with my dysthymia. I wish i can make it go away.
Hi Ya,
i don't know if i am right to say this, part of you is running from who you are at this very moment, and another part of you pulls you the other way, so i would think it would be difficult to feel excitement about much with only half yourself wanting to make this effort, all i can say is you have to make at least one thing a positive and place your energy into that one thing and leave the rest to a more stable time, make a chellenge for yourself, even if you have to fake it, everything begins with an act, so even if you do have to force a smile, when you are with others, sooner or later you may find that that forced smile is a real one
Its quiet here on weekends, so i hope someone else will have some good advise for you
please take care
i don't know if i am right to say this, part of you is running from who you are at this very moment, and another part of you pulls you the other way, so i would think it would be difficult to feel excitement about much with only half yourself wanting to make this effort, all i can say is you have to make at least one thing a positive and place your energy into that one thing and leave the rest to a more stable time, make a chellenge for yourself, even if you have to fake it, everything begins with an act, so even if you do have to force a smile, when you are with others, sooner or later you may find that that forced smile is a real one
Its quiet here on weekends, so i hope someone else will have some good advise for you
please take care
thanks for your input, what u said makes sense. sometimes i feel that its wrong or for some reason i do not deserve it, to allow myself to have fun or feel happy.
Hi S.B., I just wanted to welcome you to healing well forum. We are happy to have you. I see brownleaf has given you some excellent suggestions / advice. I hope you continue to post often. Take care.