Depression and Accoustic Neuroma

Diseases & Conditions Depression
1
Hi
 
I'm new to this forum. I wonder if anyone can help with this.  My husband had an accoustic neuroma removed a few years ago.  He now has another one but it is growing slowly.  (an accoustic neuroma is a tumour that attaches itself behind the ear inside the head).  The surgery was huge and it took 3 8 hours ops to remove it.  It has left him with a severe weakness on the left side of his body (a bit like a stroke).  He also has facial pulsy.
 
Ever since he has suffered with depression.  He had a breakdown when I was 6 months pregnant with our second child.
 
He has considered taking his life but hasn't yet.
 
I wondered if there was anyone out there who's had a similar experience to this.
 
Thanks in advance for any replies

Rachel

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Hi Rachel, Welcome to Healing Well forum, we are happy to have you.  I am so sorry for all you and your husband have been through.  I don’t know much about accoustic neuroma but what I do know and please do correct me if I am incorrect, is that it is a benign tumor that can be surgically removed and most times has a very low rate of recurrence.  I can very much understand where this can be overwhelming and very scary not only for the person who has this but for the family as well since this is in the head region and close to the brain.  I myself had to have a brain biopsy when I was going through the process of diagnosis for MS; the doctors believed I had a tumor, as my first lesion was very large.  Of course this is nothing compared to what your husband has gone though but I remember the panic and dread of that surgery and what came after very well.

It sounds as if your husband is having a very difficult time in dealing with the changes within his body and in accepting what his future holds medically.  This is completely understandable when someone goes though something like that and comes out of it with continuing physical problems or disabilities.  I would strongly encourage he seek the consult of a psychiatrist or even a therapist to whom he can speak with regarding his feelings and fears.  Please do keep posting and let us know how he is doing, and also how you’re holding up during this.  Take care

Elisha

http://www.healingwell.com/donate


 

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Thanks for your reply Elisha.
 
you are absolutely right about the tumour.  Although they're not sure if this new one is a fragment of the old one that got left behind or if it is indeed a new one.  His consultant though was absolutely convinced that he got everything out during the ops.  But on his scan you can clearly see something now.  He has another scan in Sept.  If it's still growing slowly they will continue to monitor it.  Although now they think it might even be scar tissue showing on the scan. I hope so. Cos another op would be so hard to deal with.
 
He is under the doctor for his depression.  He was offered therapy but he doesn't want that.
 
Although I said it was a few years ago it was actually when he was 19 - he is now 35.  He was always very atheletic and enjoyed taking part in sports.  I think this is what he now finds difficult.
 
He suffers from constant headaches.  And because he is now deaf in one ear his balance is terrible too.  Until recently he used a walking stick.  I wish he still did, but he didn't like people looking at him.  Although he looks like is drunk sometimes, especially when he is tired.
 
He has been unable to work due to his depression and the ops.  It's very difficult for people to employ him, I think.  He has just started working 2 days a week for his brother.  So there is no problem if he can't work for any reason.
 
To be honest we've been coping on our own for all these years and most of the time it's ok.  Just every now and then when he's very down I do find it hard.  He does have a supportive family but I find that Dan (that's my hubby) can be quite amiable to them and to friends but actually quite mean and nasty to me.
 
I wondered how other carers get on with all.  I find that it gets me 'down' at times and I just take the kids out for while and have a break.
 
I'm really waffling aren't I.
 
Anyway thanks for your reply.

Rachel

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Hi Rachel, I’m sure its very difficult for your husband to see how hard all this has been on you also and the changes you've had to make.  He is most likely taking his anger out on you, as you are the person closest to him.  Not that this behavior is right, as it isn’t, but its there. 

I can sympathize quite a bit as I was always very active and athletic myself.  Then at the age of 28 I was diagnosed with MS, which was hard to deal with.  Last year I got very sick once again (I'm 32) and found out I had an autonomic disorder that is much like Parkinson's disease.  I sometimes have to use a cane, which I hate to do, as I too believe that people stare at me.  But if you need it, you use it.  Then there are days that my blood pressure is so low from the disorder that I cant stand up without passing out, so I have to sit in a wheelchair to get around the house.  I also became extremely depressed after my last diagnosis and had thoughts of harming myself.  I was on an antidepressant all along but after such a shock to the system it just wasn’t working for me as it should of been.  I changed meds and started to see a counselor who has helped.  The health problems are still there but my outlook on them is different.  It is a daily work in progress.

I do need to take care of yourself and make time for you.  No matter if it is just taking a bath or a daily walk by yourself.  It will give you breathing room and time to regroup and organize your thoughts.  You certainly deserve it.

 

Elisha

http://www.healingwell.com/donate