EMPATHY......The ability to put yourself in the other persons shoes,the willingness to try and understand just what they go thru on a day to day basis.an honest attempt at giving that person your support and love and understanding...............APATHY.........Not being willing to put yourself in anyones shoes other than your own:caring only about one person YOU.Not truly understanding what we are telling you about how we feel but "saying " that you do ..............................I was at the mercy of this type of person(nurse) this wknd and it sure made me see the light and also see what our world has come too especailly in the health care field.As he was asking me questions.......he wasnt waiting for my answer before asking another/asked me how long I had this "boo boo"......first off the so called boo boo is crater like and basically eating my finger away,but ok its a boo boo.I would never have treated a patient as I was treated by this so called professional.Obviously he missed the class of Empathy 101 while at school.As for the peeps in the waiting room I got some looks and side steps(want to yell at the top of voice its not contagious:but let them sweat)..... LOL ........My family all say they understand how I feel and yet they dont have a Clue........They keep piling more on my plate and adding to the stress,which in turn makes the crohns worse as we all know and the PG as well.They dont get it at all that the ones who ultimately pay for me being down is Cait and Howie (self).They dont have to live with me and see what I go thru.I find my HW Family does care and they DO have EMPATHY......and for all of you I am so very thankful that I have you all.I keep you in my heart and in my prayers as I am able to EMPATHIZE with you totally and honestly.Take Care And God BLess........Lyn
I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........LynPost Edited (LKE aka Lyn Kyle Emerick) : 3/8/2005 7:13:57 PM (GMT-7)
We,who have AD haev Apathy,we don't want to do anything,period!There are meds.for this,as it shows depression.I'm on Remeron,still could care less about doing much.
SnowyLynne
SL............You are on this board showing that you care for people...........you were in the nursing field for all those years, over 30 right so you may be apathetic now because of this AD:But at one time you must have been emphathetic to be the type of caring nurse you were.You still have some of those caring qualities as even with the AD you are looking after Larry.I hope you have a good night and are better rested than you were the other day....as you had said you were overtired and didnt know when to rest..thats my biggest problem as well................I am truly sorry about the chat mixup and I take full responsibility..............I hope we can set it up for Monday at 6pm if you are interested.i am posting this at 5:30 where I am so we can figure the time diff if there is one...........Take Care and God Bless you and Larry
I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn
I was,at one time.I do my helping over the internet,but I'm up front & to the point about things.Don't have time nor care about doing "oh,baby I feel so sorry"type things.I can say them,I just don't feel it.Yes,AD has done a number on me,can't help it.
I have no interest in cleaning house,doing dishes,laundry,stuff like that.
Alot of what I loved to do is gone.........
SnowyLynne
.....SnowyLynne............I am truly sorry that this AD has taken so much from you.May God Bless and Keep You Safe
Right now my main thing is getting Larry to & from therapy,& eating lunch out.lol.We'll be going 3 times a week for the next month.I can still do anything I want,I just son't want to.Make sense?
SnowyLynne
Hello Lyn and Snowy . . .
Lyn: How did things work out with your soar ? If you went to the ER it must have been pretty bad. I didn't realize that Crohns caused such problems. I guess I should learn more about that, as Crohns is becoming more common. Let us know how things are.
Snowy: You do have your hands full!! The Jigsaw Puzzles are still Dad's favorite. He really likes to spread that glue on there and then when they dry we hang them on the wall. He has a real art gallary going. But he loves to show his finished puzzles to all who come to visit.
Lyn: Sorry, I have had computer problems and was at Dad's today (Mondays). . . I'm sorry I didn't even see the post about chat time until now. Lyn . . . you must be Eastern time because the time you typed in your message and the time of the post matched for me and I am Eastern time. If Snowy is in Texas . . . that might be Central time . . . but I have a hard time making a commitment for chat. I am home all day and when hubby gets home in the evening, I like to care for his needs. I am often on the computer around 8 or 9 or 10 in the eves. . . but 6:00 I am preparing or serving dinner.
Don't plan around me. I will catch you when I can.
Blessings!
AR..wondered where you had got to .I thought I had scared you off lol............No one is at fault but me over the chat times I said at the beginning I was only human so I learn thru trial and error right lol.How are you doing and how is your dad ?Been thinking about you.Yes crohns does do a lot to your body and with the pyoderma it just adds to it.My one finger is so bad right now looks as though its ready to come off.The pain is unbearable at times but hey i will get thru it .You let me know about your availability for chat and Peter has put me in the right direction for the calendar so i will yak to SL and go from there ok ........Take care and GOD BLESS
I cannot keep your feet from stumbling..........I can only offer my hand that you might grasp it and not fall...........Lyn
Lyn,
How do you you treat that finger? What did they do for you at ER? ((((((Lyn)))))))))
My computer is on the fritz so I use hubby's when I can. Thanks for asking. Dad has developed a real closeness to me. He goes to my picture and asks mom why I am not there. When I arrive, he hugs me and says "I thought you were never coming back" :sad: I went 3x last week but he doesn't remember. So I just get over there when I can enjoy him in our puzzle making.
Blessings!
Ar am still on IV antibiotics but they dont seem to be doing the trick this time ..am in severe pain always i kinda think i would rather have no finger than one like this .........my daughter is just terrified as she doesnt see me get this bad usually..........Having hard time with mom as no one else looks after her and I cant just leave her on her own all the time ...cait and hubby trying to help out as much as possible.Thanks for your concern ..............take care of yourself and May God Bless
Oh Lyn,
You are having a time of it!!! I am sure that your flare is made worse and longer by your exhausting schedule with all that you are doing. Would you husband consider getting on the phone with your sibblings to schedule some help at your mom's. Even if they could help with things that are not her personal care . . . like house cleaning, laundry, bringing in some meals and grocery shopping, maintenance on the home etc. You won't be any good to her in the hospital. No need to answer this post . . . just a thought.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Blessings!
AR....my siblings thoughts are to put her in a home thats all no talking it over just that one sided idea......they do not remember that she brought them into this world loved them .supported their every decision in life(good or bad) and still tries to be MOM..........I am not that way and never could be ......I have talked with HOwie over moving into their big house and having her f/t to give dad a break....both Cait and Howie are great with her and I know that Dad is getting tired and scared.Just recently found out that when she was at the docs(i didnt go for once) that he rx her ativan and I know now why she was flipping out and acting very strange....took the pills and info to the doc and told him NEVER to give her meds without my consent /knowledge as she has reactions to a lot of them.I am listed as her legal guardian and the doc was made quite aware of this so I am sure it will not happen again................................On a lighter note am glad you and your Dad are doing and spending so much quality time together it is very important for him as well as you .....I think about you always and have you and your family in my prayers...........God Bless and Keep You Healthy
Sorry your siblings have closed a very special door. Hmmmmm, I guess we all have to make our own decisions. I have 8 brothers and sisters. One sister and I make sure we are there at least once a week. The others are either very busy or don't realize how much mom would appreciate a break or a visit. I have talked to them . . .but they probably think they have many tomorrows left. You are a GREAT daughter. . . and your hubby and daughter are to be commended for their compassion for your and your mom.
Dad and I tried an "activity pad". The ones that have follow the dots and color by number, etc. He really enjoyed it and wouldn't skip a page. He colors VERY carefully and very thouroghyly. He even redid some of my work. He whispers when we are puzzling or coloring. Very sweet. I'm not sure why, but it is special.
Thanks for the prayers !!! I will pray for you and your family as well!!
Blessings!
AR......I honestly dont know what to tell you about the whispering ,my mom does it with cait and I ..........its like its supposed to be our lil secret thing that we are doing .....i dont know but I do know it makes for a great time with her.Maybe she thinks she is getting one over on dad LOL.My siblings are nothing like yours hun ,they live right here in town and dont bother with her or my dad.My hubby will shoot dad 40.00 to go to the casino and then cait and I spend the day doing as much as Mom feels up to ,sometimes I just watch her sleep peacefully.Siblings need to understand that we are not there for what we can gain when she goes but for what we are gaining while she is still here to show us things and she is still able to teach us a few things as well.They are losing out and for that I feel bad but I wont push them to love their mom........that comes naturally........Take Care ....GOD BLESS
Now it is put dad in a home lol
They cannot get that out of their head put them in homes no worries
Not in my time
Lyn
Dad did his disapperaing act at Market on me thought it was a hoot
Wind me up and watch me go lol
Hoping all are well
Lyn
Hi Lyn. So sorry that you are having such a rough time. I see this thread was started a while ago. Did your finger heal ok in the end?And was it due to your Crohns?
My Sister doesnt whisper. In fact she has a habit of saying some things out loud,especialy when we are around other people. She was in the fish and chip shop with her husband the other day. Now,my Sister has developed a habit(not her fault obviously,its due to her illness)she constantly refers to "cats" everything she sees is either "a cat" or "a cat one" Anyway, while in the chip shop she pointed to some sausages and said rather loudly "Cat one,look cat ones!" The guy behind the counter couldnt help but laugh. My sisters Husband said somthing like "oh its ok take no notice she isnt well" and the guy behind the counter replied, "Oh I see,but it was funny though" He said it in a kindly way,he wasnt making fun.
You have to laugh about
things sometimes dont you? otherwise we all know what the other option is:-(